June 13, 2025 • 64 mins
Conflict, activism, and accountability collide when Yvie opens up about a near fallout with Nicole Byer — and how they both chose grace over beef. Then, our hosts break down protest culture, performative activism, cancel culture, and the complicated balance between standing up for what’s right while maintaining friendships. From LA protests to miscommunication, public call-outs, and how to actually apologize, the crew dives deep into navigating conflict without losing connection. Plus, high-key obsessions this week include Love Island USA, gender-affirming haircuts, and Miley Cyrus’ new album.
If you’re HIGHKEY! vibing with us, come kick it on Patreon! We’re dropping bonus content, behind-the-scenes tea, exclusive group hangs — basically, the HighKiki.
www.patreon.com/HIGHKEY
Watch HIGHKEY! on YouTube at youtube.com/@highkeyhere
Follow along on socials @highkeyhere
HIGHKEY! is a production of iHeartPodcasts, as part of the Outspoken network. The show is created and executive produced by Ben O’Keefe, Ryan Mitchell, Yvie Oddly, and Spoke Media.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I feel like I only prioritize like self care when
I'm already in pain.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, you're in pain from your massage. See you're only
telling how this is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Because I don't I don't believe that you're supposed to
be sore after a massage?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Is that normally in.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
A deep tissuy massage? Yeah, yes you are.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Okay girl. They went in there, they were beating.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's like, why do I feel like this? It's like
someone like was like wringing my back for an hour.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Trust me, I know, I think or two about getting
my back blown out.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Can I switch just to a bit of a serious topic,
because of course, I'm mean, I'm really thinking about Los
Angeles right now, and I'm thinking now it's kind of
expanded if you don't know. Unfortunately, we're seeing the federal
government really really take an increasingly disgusting stance on imm
which is just to be sending an ice and militarized
(01:03):
police officers to round folks up without due process. And
this week it's been kind of inspiring. We're starting to
see resistance. We're starting to see protests that reminds me
of when George Floyd was killed. It reminds me of
when we stood up and took.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Action DLA riots with Rodney King. It's it's very similar,
well exactly, but it ain't a riot.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
It's a protest, true, but I wouldn't think you would think.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
It's not the protesters that's creating the riot.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
It's actually the militarized kind of presence that's actually creating
this energy that is so unnecessary. I mean, I lived
so close, like maybe so close. I five ten fifteen
minutes away from downtown. And that's also another reason why
I kind of felt the need to like really dive
into self care, because you know, it's it's something to
(01:52):
be said when I'm spending like an hour on the
phone trying to calm my mom and my grandmother down
because all they're seeing is like Los Angeles, and then
they know my proximity and they're like, are you okay?
Like what's going on? And so calming them down. It's
very reminiscent of the fires. It's like LA hasn't caught
a break, if you really want to think about it,
Like we had COVID, we had the strikes, we had
(02:12):
the fires, and now we're having this like it's we
haven't really had the opportunity to like mourn or grieve
all of these different changes that are happening. And now
so many beautiful people, immigrants who have like built this city,
have built this state, have built this country, are all
kind of like being completely you know, terrorized by folks
(02:36):
that are supposed to protect. It's it's very disappointing, and
it's very scary when all you can hear is just
like helicopters outside just like kind of swirling around.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Well, and then like, the thing that's bugging me is
that I'm being told that I should be angry at
these protesters. I'm being told that I should care more
about property than I do about human beings. I'm being told,
first of all, can we talkalk about something, because I
think I'm so sick of hearing illegal immigrants. It is
not illegal to be in this country without documentation. It
(03:07):
is literally not a crime to be in this country.
It is a civil infraction. There's nothing illegal being done.
Yet we're seeing people swooped up like their terrorists, without
due process, sent all around, being sent to out Salvadorian prisons.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Honestly, that reminds me a lot of.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
I know everybody wants to always like make this comparison
as extra spicy, touchy right now, but this really does
remind me of a lot of the earlier stories I
remember reading from the beginning of the Holocaust, like where
people were given a common enemy that they started to
look against. So when militarized officials started breaking into homes,
(03:49):
sweeping them up, taking them out of the country and
throwing them in other countries random work camps. I know
there's worlds difference between what's happening, but the treatment of
humans who you may not fully understand, who help build
your space is exactly the same.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mean speaking to even the downtown of it all, right,
where like being named like they want us to protect
these buildings. First of all, downtown is Gotham City, Yeah
it was. It was never a place where anyone like,
you know, like downtown living is the gingrified downtown living
that people talk about, but downtown is a little bit rough,
(04:32):
like no shade.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
And also I think this is also a.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Really great prime example of something that I hope which
I don't think we'll ever see in our lifetime, democrats
like learning, you know, Gavin Knew Some's such an interesting
character to me because he is someone that was just
in the face of Donald Trump trying to like kiss
his ass and play the game and then having really
harmful Republicans on our conservatives on basically undermining trans folks
(04:57):
and sports and all these things, and he was thinking
he was probably trying to play both sides, to play
the long game. Guess what, You're back at square one
where Donald Trump is literally threatening to arrest you and
calling you knew scum.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Like right after you made all of these moral concessions.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
The.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Win from assimilating.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Period, you'll never win trying to play both sides. And
I think this is just another example of like, it's
so interesting to me as like we're seeing, especially him
in this moment. He always has this way of like
regaining the audience that he lost before because it's like, oh,
everyone's team Knew Some now, and I'm just like, do
y'all not see the game that he's playing.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
He's willing to just.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Completely throw away all his morals and then the next
second he's like Superman or something like he's not saving anyone.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
That's like here in New York, Cuomo's about to Andrew Cuomo,
former governor of New York, is about to be the
mayor of New York City. This man literally was like
removed from office sexual harassment, all sorts of other alleged crimes.
I'm saying alleged because I have to you know, like
this man, this man is scum. Which is crazy that
he's reading again. But people are like, oh, I know
(06:06):
that name. Let me check that bough.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm sorry, new York never gets their mayor.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
No, we don't, No, we don't.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Right, I don't know what's going on over there.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
We have a real shot here.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And rank choice voting really changes the game because of
what it means is that it gives you a shot
to not just pick one person, but to pick who
your second choice to be your third choice would be.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Ranked choice voting. Story, are you saying what New York has?
Speaker 7 (06:26):
Like a first, I want Mickey Mouse, and then second,
I want Jessica Biel from that one movie she did,
and then third I'll take young Kanye West, like back when.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
He was saying George Bush hates black people.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
No, it's more like someone's like, oh, I wanted Brooklyn
Heights number one, but.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
To and look what happened.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I saw that AOC posted her rankings, which I don't
normally pay attention to a ton of New York politics,
and so I was like, is this a new kind
of thing where it's like people are saying, here's your choice,
and I'm going to rank them from the best to like,
they're still great, but now.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It's about averages.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
And so if no one wins that majority of plurality
of the vote on that first round, then it starts
to do math that I'm not trying to do. But
the math starts math, and and you might get down
to a fifth ballot and it might really matter who
you ranked six. It's like the All Stars when they
were like rank a queen. It's very rank a queen.
And then you're like, oh, some of those girls who
were bad were putting the best girls at number seven
(07:27):
because they wanted to, you know, fix the math.
Speaker 7 (07:30):
Four divas have named smath number one to divas number two,
and then one lonely Lana, what.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Names number four.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
It's kind of like that, Oh my god, you're literally
like me, what I see like pop Crave like post
something about like politics, and I'm like, translate this into stan.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Can you translate this for the girls. That's what I'm
here for. That's what I'm here for. Well, bro, clearly.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
There's a lot that's been charged this week.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
I'm like very thankful that y'all both seem fine and
well and alive despite the chaos of the world we're in.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Like, what's been up with you?
Speaker 7 (08:08):
Like, I want to hear what's what's one thing, good thing,
bad thing about your weekend?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh? Been go ahead you first? Oh that's not fair.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Well, I have a tommy ache right now, so that's
been kind of fraw.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm telling you. The black remedy is ginger ale.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
It really is ginger ale. I know, I or some
like ginger beer.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I almost got like the Jamaican ginger beer at the
bodega down the street.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
I'm glad that you.
Speaker 7 (08:30):
Said Jamaican because I was about to come out and
be like ginger beer.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Oh, so you're doing the white version of ginger ale.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
The Irish version. I am an o keith? I mean which?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh that did I tell y'all the last time I
was in New York, I've had a chop cheese for
the first time.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh, congratulations, out of odego, Yes, out of bodega.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Yeah, they're kind of gross. I know, I'm going to
hell for that.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Oh you cannot say that. Okay, you're gonna get hate crimes.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
No, this is actually so real because it was like
four o'clock.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
In the morning, or maybe it was like two something,
but either way, I was way pass like sober, and
I got like I.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Just got it playing.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I got it with cheese, maybe some lettuce, and that
was it, and like, I guess I didn't really It
gives like sloppy Joe texture without the sauce.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yeah, it's ground beef. For folks who are not in
the know, a chopped cheese is one of the signature
sandwiches of New York City bodegas. Bodegas are like small
little corner stores with a deli in them, and they
literally take ground beef like a hamburger meat and they
chop it up with some cheese and some onion and
a little special sauce on it, and that's your chopped
cheese on some bread and uh, yeah, it is kind
(09:36):
of like a saw.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
It's just ground beef.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
Yeah, But the thing that makes it gross, and this
is a common staple among like New York City like
food carts, specifically those like hot dog carts where you're like, yeah,
I'd like a Philly cheese steak.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
Why are these bitches putting old soggy lettuce on everything?
Like the chopped cheese part.
Speaker 7 (09:57):
Would have been good if they didn't decide to think
that it was like a gourmet burger and be like, yeah,
we should mush some tomatoes and lettuce in there, give
it a coli, Like, does anyone have a couple of
pickles we can just mush so that you're eating a
big sloppy pile of soggy ball like.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
That fla on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
They call that like a chopped sandwich, and it's really popular.
They do it with everything that's gross.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I feel like I would try it again, but I
think a chop cheese is literally just a necessary like
drunk snack. You need it to like soak up the
liquor from the base of that thing, because you're also
not worried about if everything is clean because that modegga.
I swear all the chips were like from two thousand
and nine.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
They were all open, so someone took the bitting them.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Cat does a lot of cleaning during the time, yes,
and so I was just kind of like, that was
really exciting.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Okay, but you're a tummy gaate. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
No, I have a hummegg I'm fine. That was the story.
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Yeah, so there's that I'm going to a protest today
with my brother and.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
We're you know me, I'm a little activist.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You're no, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You It's so interesting because I find that being, especially
in this process, has talked about how he doesn't want
to be like viewed as like serious or like he
wants to be at the intersection of like politics and
like pop culture, which I think he does already beautifully.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
But it's so interesting. I'm like, it's kind of low key.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You're calling You're great at it, the way that you're
able to break down these really complicated things. We are
Every friend group needs a you, and I just want
you to sit in there.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, you know, I just like the drama. I just
like the beef. That's what I like about politics. I
cannot stand injustice and like if something's wrong, I'm like,
why is no one fixing this?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
This could be better?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And unfortunately in life you start to realize, like often
you're the person or you and your community. I've stopped
thinking that it's me. I think that's the ego of activism,
and for so.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Long that I think it's you. I think you're the problem.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
No, I think not. No, I stopped thinking I was
the solution.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Yeah yeah, Abar so correct.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Sometimes I am the problem.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But I really think it's about like community power, collective power.
When we show up in masses, we can do anything.
There literally are more of us than there are of them,
but we are intentionally I think, toxic individuality. And this
is something that WoT culture has brought upon us, has
removed the us and the wei and it's all about me.
And you have to realize that you are a puzzle
(12:30):
piece in a much bigger picture than you, and you
have to humble yourself enough to know. And that's why
I love being out a protest. That's why I love activism.
It's like because I know that I am going to
be my little piece, my little lego, my little part,
and I'm going to fit into it and let's build
something beautiful together.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You know that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (12:48):
It's funny because I love obviously, I love to protest.
I love to fight I've I love some injustice, Show
me some injustice because I'm gonna scream about it, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
See I hate injestice.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
I think injustice is natural.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
I think humans have always found a way to put
themselves above each other. I think the fun part about
the fact that we're such fucked little creatures sometimes is
like what you were saying, Ben, when you notice something,
it is ultimately your responsibility to choose how to act
and choose how to try and make a greater change
for something bigger than yourself. I think it's just interesting
(13:26):
how protesting and activism in general seemed to look like
they were something that wasn't being done as effectively after
I'd say, like the kinds of protests we saw in
twenty twenty with George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter
movement in general, and then you get another deep dig
(13:47):
into another community that really isn't doing shit to the
people who are trying to hurt them.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, And I mean, for me, it's kind of like,
even if I'm flashing back to twenty twenty when everything
was happening, and I think obviously there was a major
like health situation going and people were still in the
streets doing the work. I always found myself to be
always kind of very like nervous to be out in
the streets in that way, right, like i've I would
(14:16):
do it, But then I found myself being like hearing
my mom's you know, single black mother voice in the background,
being like, I don't want to get that phone call
that something has terribly happened to like my child. And
then also like I was like, well, how can I
use my talents of like being able to talk about
(14:36):
these really important issues, maybe not be in the streets,
but how can I use them behind the mic or
in front of a camera? How can I talk about
these things in a really like beneficial way. And I
don't know if I will ever necessarily be the in
the streets sort of protester. And I kind of want
to name that because I think it's important for folks
(14:57):
who don't necessarily think that's their lane. And I don't
don't think there's anything wrong with that, But it's like,
as long as you're still talking, as long as you're
still bringing it up, and as long as you're still
willing to learn and exists in a space that feels
like goods for you as well as doing the work.
I think it's just fine because I don't know. Sometimes
(15:17):
I felt guilty about not being like the bin of
the group girl, And I know there's people around me
being the bin of the group well.
Speaker 7 (15:24):
And I think people who are pushing for everyone to
rise up and to protest are in the right with
their motives. You know, we all should be fucking pissed
about what we're seeing. You should be raising your voice
about so many issues around the world. I think what
maybe got lost during the COVID years, when we were
(15:45):
all trapped inside on our computers and had nothing but
time to sit and pick apart all the ways that
the world had hurt us and that we were hurting
each other. I think people maybe lost sight of the
fact that just because somebody doesn't take the same actions
you do does not mean they don't care, and that
(16:06):
there is no moment ever that it is too late
for somebody to be informed on how to better a cause,
how to join a movement. I feel like there was
this point where it became, oh, you don't you don't
know black people are dying in the streets, You fucking racist,
and like you're talking to like some Indian guy who
(16:28):
literally just got here on a plane yesterday, Like, no,
of course he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yes and yes, And because I think it's important. I
think it's important that we give people grace and we
and we let people know that redemption is the journey.
And for a long time I was in this space
of like I was a professional cancelor literally, like that's
what I did on the internet for a living. And
that's not the right disposition. That being said, I think
(16:53):
people need to take accountability for how and where they
show up. I think people need to take accountability for
their actions, and I think ultimately we need to eradicate ignorance. Ignorance,
by its very definition, is a lack of knowledge. So
I don't need you in the street, I don't need
you posting on social media. I need you educating yourself,
dismantling your ignorance, and then sharing that education with others
(17:17):
so that you're doing the work within your community to
make the change you need to make. But I do
think that hey, first of all, you can be a
brown person and be anti black. You can be a
black person and be absolutely in this. Of course they are,
because that's what they want. They want marginalized people to
stay marginalised. They want us to stay on the margins.
(17:38):
They want us to stay away from each other and
not realize that like when we show up together, that's
when we can do anything. We can say, any election
in this country, if the people who believed in the
progressive values that we believe in that I can say
most of us probably believe in who are listening to
a show like this, if we all showed up, we
would win. But we need to We need to make
(17:59):
it more inviting. And so that doesn't mean just shitting
on people. It means like open like opening a door,
but then knowing that people need to step up and
do the work to get through it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Which speaking of I feel like the the inviting piece.
I feel like what ev is speaking of specifically were
folks that were doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
For social media contents.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
And I think that's where I found, especially twenty twenty
to be a little icky at times performing how we
yeah performative activism, and it felt like, okay, are you
are you rehearsing these lines? Are you like, are you
thinking of this to be your next step? I mean,
that's why we had so many people questioned towards the
(18:41):
more recent years around like the Black Lives Matter movement
and what was being done and who was in charge
and what was how much money they were how much
money they were do like making and how it got
very trucking.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Jean King, Oh, oh my god, that white man.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But you know, but Sean King lived on President Street,
like a few blocks up from me. We were coming
up at a very similar time on the internet, and
we talked about it, and he made a very conscious
decision to go into grifting, and I made a very
conscious decision not to that. I may have made a
lot of money, made a lot more followers than me.
What you talked about it. I mean, we sat there
and we had a conversation, like we've I knew Sean.
(19:15):
You know what I'm saying, Like everyone who gets into
it for a profession, that's the problem. It's like you,
it becomes about making money and paying your bills. Yea,
and that's wrong, do you know what I mean? And
it becomes about ego. And I was super complicit in this.
I had to do a lot of ego worth because
I was in Activism is all rooted in ego. It's
(19:35):
all about self either trying to save myself or heal
myself when you look outward and realize that you're doing
something for someone else, even if you never get to
see it, because you might go to that protest and
get your ass killed and then you don't get the benefit.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
But we don't. We can't.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
We have to stop looking at like how we only
can make things work for us. We have to start
really thinking about the wei, and to Eve's point, we
have to start giving people grace. And it's easier said
than done, because sometimes you just want to be angry
and you have the it's righteous anger, but it's not productive.
It's not going to fix anything for yourself or for
anyone you care about, which is.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I think is the line that can be a little
blurry when it comes to the activists who are starting
to make money and kind of making this their career,
because one it's like they are doing it. They start
off doing it with the best intentions, and then once
they start to like gain some notoriety and these opportunities
come on board, it's like, Okay, I still want to
(20:34):
continue to lead with my intentions, but then also I'm
making a name for myself, which creates stability, and we
still live in a capitalist society, so it's kind of like,
where's the balance of understanding?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Like, all right, I'm still for the people.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I'm still about making equitable societies and fighting for equality,
but I also still want to grow in this and
kind of become a leader in that way. Like I
just I'm so curious about how a person thinks about
that next step forward?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Can I tell you?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I think it has to be a balance between audacity
and humility. The audacity to know that you, as an
individual will have the power to make immense change in
your life and the lives of others, that you you
actually may have a calling for that, and that might
mean that you have to build platform. Sometimes you have
to build that platform so that you can share that platform.
(21:28):
But the humility is what reminds us that the audacity
alone is not enough. The humility reminds us that we
need each other, that we can't. No one got where
they are by themselves, not a single person.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
That's not true. That's not true. Drake started from the
bottom and now he's here.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
But he's not like us. Nobody.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Wait wait, wait that actually speaking of Drake and Kendrick Ivie,
do you want to talk I know that you had
some shit and Ryan you were there too, because y'all
and no one's talking about it, and I think we
should talk about it.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
We're talking about beef and you have some active.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
We're talking about chopped cheese.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
We're talking about about making concessions.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
We're talking about humility and grace. Y'all. I had the
wildest weekend.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
I think we need to take a break before I
get into it, though, because it really was gnarley.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, yeah, stay tuned because there is some behind the
scenes tea that we really need to discuss.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, between Evie and Nicole Byer. We'll see in a minute.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Welcome back to high key.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Yes, okay, Evie, no more suspense. You gotta tell us.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
What happen pease? Oh my god, I know.
Speaker 7 (22:46):
Honestly, neither do I. I was flown out to LA
to record Nicole Byer's podcast. You know, I was coming
straight from the airport. It's Pride season. I like had
a million gigs before and after that. I was shifting around,
and uh, you know, I was stressed and and I
know I was late, but actually I wasn't late. I
(23:07):
was two minutes before time, which is still late.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Which was oddly though, is pretty damn good.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
I mean, yeah, that's like years early for a dragon,
not Evey oddly. I am literally the most punctual fucking
drag queen on this planet.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Especially because you got you came straight off of the.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Fly, like you couldn't have been there any earlier.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, and you're doing this for you know, promotion for
the show, and like you're it's it's it's I'm happy
that you were able to.
Speaker 7 (23:32):
Me too, girl, But it was it was still wild because,
like as I said, I've been flying back and forth
all around our country trying to promote the gay agenda,
and uh, I went to LA to record this podcast.
I showed up to the studio. Ryan was actually there
and we got to have a little bit of a
tiny key, but through a fucking like waterfall of miscommunication,
(23:58):
Nicole and I ended up waiting for each for forty
five minutes in rooms right fucking next to each other.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Totally. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I mean, honestly, I don't want to blame myself, but
I feel like maybe I'm the bad luck charm here
because I live right down the street from the studio
that Nicole shoot said, right, So I was like I'm
gonna look home and say hi and come eat lunch,
especially because Tyler, our showrunner, was like, oh I got food, honey,
I'm not passing up no good lunch, especially in ate
all day, and of course I've to come see Ev too.
It just was like, okay, I got there maybe around
(24:29):
like I probably got there around maybe like two fifteen ish,
like two maybe two o five, and I knew y'all
were back there. You were getting ready and like they
were like, okay, let's eat, and so I was like,
all right, cool, let's eat. And I walked past the
intro to kind of give a format of like what
the studio look like. You walk in the door and
you see a window through the window is where you
(24:51):
see a coolebuyer sitting in the studio, right, And I'm like, okay,
what I didn't say Hi. I just kind of went
back and found Tyler came and got me.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
We went back and saw Ev and it was like
a whole little thing, right.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Yeah, and then we were we like had lunch.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You face timed me, and this is why I know
the timeline. Okay, I went back and checked Ryan. You
could not have arrived at two fifteen because in reality,
when you called me, it was two eleven Pacific times?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
How was it out?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And I said, what time does the interview start? And
it was said twelve minutes ago. But no one's coming gotten.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
See, look at the receipts.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
So those are the receipts. Look at the back checking
MPR that. Yeah, you're all. That's so good journalism.
Speaker 7 (25:33):
That's what's wild, is like I guess in a way,
all three of us were sitting in a room next
to Nicole Buyer for forty five minutes, who was sitting
in a room waiting for me for forty five minutes? Okay,
and then what happened like they come and get you.
I wasn't there.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Granted, we also were like king. We were like having
a great time.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Oh yeah, we were king.
Speaker 7 (25:54):
We were being loud, we were having the only high
key key like you you already know my lafe was
blowing out their wall.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Yeah, like our microphones.
Speaker 7 (26:03):
But nobody, nobody came to get me, Like I've never
been in a green room without some production assistant like
glued to my back, being like five minutes, five and
a half minutes.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, and the host normally comes in and says, oh, hey, Evie,
thank you so much for me or I'm so happy
you're here. And that is also in my opinion, coming
on the host, if we're behind, it's like, oh shit,
I think actually we were supposed to start five minutes ago.
You want to come with me now, like have a conversation.
Speaker 7 (26:29):
But that's what ultimately didn't happen at that point is
like we both just sat in our rooms doing whatever,
living our lives, living our emotions. And then after forty
five minutes, her producer came in and essentially told us.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Kick you out, kick you out.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Yeah, she told me to go home.
Speaker 7 (26:49):
She's like, oh, we should look for a new day
to reschedule. When I made it quite clear at least
in that moment that I flew in for this fucking
shit during price month to cancel the doctor's appointment.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
And a dick appointment, that is a less It was.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
It was pretty serious.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I think Adasa was like, I could have done my taxes.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
Girl, I actually have two years ago.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Okay, I have things to do.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Okay, y'all, don't call it out. The irs might be listening.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Oh okay, this is.
Speaker 7 (27:20):
No so like you know, it just was like a
horrible horrible situation. And that's how I was like ready
to leave it in my mind, you know, when you're
when you're hurt. I think it's so valid for somebody
to feel like I don't ever want to see that
person again. I'm not putting up with their stuff. They
wronged me, and that's all it was.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Yeah, there was a lot the show.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
There was a lot of things at play in that
moment because, like obviously just from just kind of sitting
there watching everything this, we're in a studio full of women,
one Nicole and her two producers, which one we did
not meet until later on, who delivered the message of
like this is over, and then they're white, Nicole's black,
and then it's Evie and I two black folks. And
(28:05):
Evie was really valid in her like I just put
my nails on.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I'm literally like we were getting up and about to walk.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Over because we were wondering, well, what's about to happen,
and it just felt like, all right, well, I couldn't
really add to this pot of things because then you
we might be looked at as misogynists and then to
you know, really irate black folks like about to go
land on these like little two white girls who one
of them is like, I didn't know I was in
(28:33):
a meeting for forty five minutes, so I had no clue.
So it's kind of like what more can you do?
And it was really disappointing to like walk out of
that building and all we do is look through that
window that I mentioned earlier, and we're seeing like Nicole
with her arms crossed and her and her legs crossed.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And not even like saying anything.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Right. I wanted to tap on that window and be
like for real, says but it's like, what more could
we do? This is not our house, and I'm not
like we can't. We can't burn this bridge. It's it
would be completely unnecessary, even though it was, but it
did feel like, unfortunately that she had already made up
her mind a story. Yeah, she had a story about
(29:14):
this moment in this thing.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
And we all do that.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
We all do that where it's like wow, they're over
there sitting and laughing and king, and I'm sitting over
here like I don't have anything to do.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
He didn't invite me to key, where's my food?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
It doesn't matter whatever stories we create in our head,
because all we have is one side of the equation.
But I will say I think what happened sort of
what happened next is actually kind of impressive A because
I loved how we all got on the phone and
we all like were there for each other.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
And like oh yeah coh being immediately when we were
in the car and I was like okay, and then
Bian was like, let's FaceTime.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Even I was like, work, let's get us all on
a call so we can vic girl.
Speaker 7 (29:49):
And I was still there outside of the studio, like
looking for Nicole, Yeah, looking for Nicole, looking for a
little bit of pot to smoke. So I didn't light
up like like flowed on the spot looking for my
uber since I was gonna be going back to like
a flying back home where I could have slept eight
gone to my doctor's appointment, taking my shit, and also
(30:11):
like been really pissy that my time was wasted. And
it's funny because I did reach out to Nicole after that,
like a pretty close, pretty close to immediately, and I
have to admit that my first reaction was just like
outrage and shock, with like a hint of how.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
The fuck dare you?
Speaker 7 (30:33):
Yeah, and and uh she responded exactly the same way
and she brought up some really good points. She was like, yeah,
you were sitting and laughing around in a recording studio
for forty five minutes, like you did show up like
close to the time that recording started, and they're all
these experiences, and it felt like you didn't care about me.
(30:56):
And my first reaction to that was to write her
the next go fuck yourself, go suck a bag of
Dick's message. And instead I took all weekend to like
really reflect on it, and every time I started writing
out a response to her response, if it got if
it became too much about me and how I was
(31:17):
attacked and I was hurt, And then I had to
like take a step back because I realized that I
was never gonna I was never going to actually have
a conversation with her like before me. I had two options,
which were you can either burn this bridge with Nicole
Byer and go talk a bunch of shit about her
(31:38):
on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Granted that that was the plan and that was that
was the tea.
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Or you know, you can like try and still make
it clear that you're hurt and still make it clear
that like things could have been handled better, but own
up to your own faults and also trying to have
some grace and empathy when explaining your point of view
to somebody else. So you know, all weekend I was
(32:07):
writing these messages, taking like taking the base out of
my voice before I finally figured out the wording to
be like, I really am sorry, I'm really sorry. I
know how disrespected you must have felt sitting in that
room for forty five minutes, like hearing me key and
laugh and and that's not okay. I would never put
(32:30):
up with some experience like that.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
And she said the same thing, did she yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
And like, and then I still made my point of
like I just didn't know I had any control in
that situation because I didn't, and it allowed her the
space to get out one last little well I've never
had anything happen like that, and that was like insane,
I can't believe it before she did the biggest thing ever.
(32:57):
So you know, as much as I like want a
beef with Nicole Bayer just because like it's fun.
Speaker 5 (33:02):
To yell every now and then, it's fun.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
While you needed a good beef.
Speaker 7 (33:07):
It has and it's fun, I think I think going
back to like our earlier points, ben I think it's
very easy to get caught up in your own self righteousness,
like yes you can be right, and yes you can
be righteous, but it should never come at the cost
of somebody else's humanity. And I want to give such
major like props to Nicole Byer because she actually said sorry.
(33:32):
She wrote out everything that she needed to get out
emotionally about how disrespected she felt, and then she said,
I realize I could have done something as well. I
realized where I made my errors as well, and I'm
truly sorry. And yeah, I know that you're probably salty
as fuck with me right now, girl, but I'd be
(33:54):
willing to try again. And it's that energy that honestly
really shifted my entire perspective not only about how you
bring up points of conflict in the world and how
you fight for things that you know should be differently,
but also how you reconcile differences that may not be
(34:18):
fully agreed upon.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
This is actually bringing up a lot for me because
I feel like I'm not once you ever like shy
away from conflict. I actually feel like I've gotten in
trouble for my spicy mouth, especially when it came to
like I normally don't argue with friends, but there have
been a couple of people in my lives where it's
(34:40):
gotten there and it's gone there, and I feel like
it's It's one of those things where it's like I've
never really learned until after it happened, that once you
say something, you can't take it back, and that for
me always kind of like fucked with me and like
kind of hurt me in a lot of different ways
because I.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Was like, fuck, I knew I did not want to
even go there. I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I even kind of like felt I let the pot
boil over and I let it kind of take over me.
And it's something that I feel like I've had to
learn about myself of like seeing examples from maybe people
I've grown up with, and that's maybe taught me of
how to deal with and be like a switch where
(35:25):
I think people see me and they meet me immediately
they're like.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Oh, Ryan's a sweet person.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
But like when I switch, I switch, I get very cold,
I get very like bitch, fuck you, and I might
have something to say, and I'm like I'm trying to
not be that way anymore because I do think of
myself as a very self aware person, but I also
know that in that self awareness, it's like, damn, how
do you come back from saying the thing that you
(35:50):
didn't want to say and like apologize and take accountability for.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
That saying something you said just to hurt or just
to be right.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Yeah I wanted to say it, Yeah, but did you
need to?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And it's and it's one of those things where it's
like I it sometimes takes learning a lesson of like
y'all were able to come to terms and and have
a beautiful moment a reconciliation. But I've experienced the other
side where I've completely like lost people. And it's not
to say that it was all on me. It takes
(36:21):
two to tango, but it's like I reflect, especially on
one particular situation. I reflect on that situation, I'm like,
what could I have done differently? And is there going
to become a moment in time, hopefully in the future
that we'll be able to reconnect?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Is it too late?
Speaker 6 (36:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Is it too late?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
And maybe it is Maybe that's a consequence of this beef.
Maybe it's that's just comes with the territory.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
I'm I'm curious Ryan, and actually, uh like Ben because
I know that we're all brash people, you know, brash.
Oh my god, I actually don't know what brash means.
I thought it was just when you get a rash
on your bike. Indeed we are, yeah, but no, I'm
I'm I'm a little curious. Do you think there's any
(37:06):
benefit to allowing some sort of explosiveness because just for context, uh,
you know, I yelled as fuck in that studio when
I was told to get out, Like, I tried to
keep the smile on my face while my contacts were
sliding out of my eyes. My nails were like popping
off one by one. But I was making my point
(37:28):
by being like, I.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Cannot believe are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I'm just sitting it, which made it even more juicier
than the fact that Nicole was in the other room
and can hear the whole thing?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
I hear the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Still, didn't I say to the Honestly, I gotta give
her our teams because that's pretty cut.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
She just sat there, her legs crossed and didn't even
say nothing.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
It pissed me off in a moment, But when I
can reflect on it, and I'm like, oh, you gotta
hate that I know if.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
We were on her side, we would have been like, yeah,
you don't owe them a single word.
Speaker 7 (37:54):
Listen to that bitch over there, she better get heated,
and if she breaks something, we're suing.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
This is a nice ass studio. The arm fell the curtains, bitch,
Oh my god.
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Well no, okay, But to follow the up, I'm curious,
was there a moment where you allowed yourself a little
bit of explosiveness or where you may have been in
the wrong, and whether or not that's the case, how
did you find some sort of reconciliation.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
What's your best reconciliation?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Well, first of all, sometimes you gotta scream. I remember
my partner had a cancer scare and we really thought
my partner had cancer for a moment, and we were
coming back from a scan and someone like cut us off,
and we rolled down the window and just chewed them out.
I wish I could give it to you, but Jenna
would be like, bleep, bleep, bleep everywhere to tell you
what we shared. And we just looked at each other
(38:44):
and you're like, oh, do you feel really good? Like,
oh my god, oh my god. You know, sometimes you
gotta yell.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
I y'all fell in love with each other after screaming
at a tack, so like we just fell in love
in that moment.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
No, it just made us even deverse, like that's my person.
But you know, like I think that it can be cathartic.
I also am a very bold person. I mean, I'm
a very transparent person. I say what I mean. And
that's the problem is sometimes I meant what I said.
I said what I said, but I still should apologize.
Do you know what I'm saying it's still hurts someone.
(39:16):
I'm not apologizing for my opinions. I'm apologizing that I
inflicted harm.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
I think that's very big because the natural way of
life is that whether or not you mean to, you're
going to be hurting things around you.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
Now, Like you want to go to the grocery store,
you're stepping on the grass.
Speaker 5 (39:35):
You're hurting that grass. Yeah, and this is a little
like off track.
Speaker 7 (39:40):
But like, if you know you're hurting somebody, then I
think it's pretty big to apologize for that pain, even
though I also think it's important for you to express
that that hurt.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
You know, I was trying to hurt them, like the
hurt that I felt, and I think it takes a
lot of intelligence to be get at hurting people with
your words. Like I I know that I know what
to say to get to someone, and it's just a
choice that I mean. Now, I also think that I
deserve to be transparent about my feelings and I really
(40:15):
like honesty my whole and I think Ryan and Evie
both I want people to just say what it is
and let's just be straightforward with it. And yeah, I
think there's been a lot of times where I've messed
up relationships because I just was angry and I didn't
feel like code switching. I didn't feel like playing nice.
That's the hard part, is like the responsibility gets put
(40:37):
on us, and that's the thing. It's like it was
Evie who reached out, even though like Evie really was
the most wronged in this situation if you look back objectively, right,
even though it was not Nicole's intention or anyone's intention,
but it was an incumbent on Evie to like repair
the harm that was done to her. And I often
think that's how it is, and maybe that's just being
(40:57):
the bigger person.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
And I also wonder, like can those moments.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Define actually if a relationship is worth keeping because I
sometimes want to be able to like have the space
where I know that, yes, I'm never going to disrespect
someone enough to like just continue to do it and
like try to tear them down. But like when things
(41:23):
get heated, I want to know that, like we could
come back to terms and you'll still like love me
and still accept me for me and all the parts
of me. And sometimes I feel like in the past,
like moments where I have gotten heated are like in
arguments with folks that I actually deeply cared about. It
felt like that's when they showed me like this relationship
(41:45):
was conditional and like they weren't able to really like
accept me for like all the pieces of me. They
only really liked the one side of Ryan that was
like very acceptable and sweet and nice. But the moment
that like I show you that I was rubbed the
wrong way or I felt armed, fucked over it all switched,
that was your last straw, And I'm just like, well, then,
(42:06):
did I ever really want you in my life? Like
did I ever really need that? Because like that's a
trigger for me, Like no, Shay, Like even when I
think about my relationship with my mom, I've had to
talk to her about, you know, like what unconditional love
and what conditional love is, and like feeling like I've
had to hide pieces of myself, my queerness, the way
that I show up in the world just to be
(42:27):
acceptable for her is a trigger. And if I feel
that in my relationships, my platonic my friendships that are
oftentimes as close to me as familiar relationships, it does
something to me.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
And it's like, damn, I now hate myself.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
And then I also kind of like feel a certain
way that you never really probably deeply cared about me
in the ways that I deeply cared about you.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
And I don't know, it's.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I guess, like what my question Ryan is like what
did you do? Like what action did you take at
that moment? Were you trying to keep be the glue
and keep it together or were you like, Okay, if
you don't want me, I don't want you.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
Like was there a conversation was.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
That I'm very much the type of person.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Oh, oh, I'm very much the type of person that
is kind of like, well, if we're not going to
solve this, let's just cut it off now.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Oh it sucks, and I hate I hate I'm genuinely
being I'm being so vulnerable now I know this about myself.
Like I try to like get ahead of the thing
because I'm like, it obviously speaks to all the their
therapies things, and maybe I need to go see doctor
Orna from couple's therapy. But it's it is something that
I've realized. Like I had a falling out with a
(43:41):
friend who I we needed to take some time apart
from each other and we ended up coming back and
it was fine, but it's still a little weird, no shade,
but we it was hard for me to to take
that time away from each other because I was like, well,
can we not just solve this and like it be
like us moving forward, but they needed time still right
like and for me, I was like, well, I couldn't
(44:04):
compute that in my brain. I was like, well, what
are we wasting our time for? Like just let's just
let's move on and we just don't need each other
in our lives. And I had to like learn that
that's not necessarily the way of doing things, Like sometimes
people do need to beat and like you don't need
to control the situation and control their feelings or how
they're going to feel to be able to like maneuver forward,
(44:26):
and like that's something that I've learned, but I'm still
constantly dealing with because it is it does sometimes feel
like a protective mechanism where I'm like, well, I'm protecting myself.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
Then you own piece.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Yeah, then I don't.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
But then it can be like a compat because I'm like, actually, no,
I when I reflect back, I'm like, actually really love
this person and I hate that this situation happened that
changed things.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yeah, did I owe them brace? And did I owe
myself grace?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
And it's it gets complicated, which is why I said earlier,
like sometimes a consequence that come out of this is like, yeah,
maybe things will dissolve, But what did I take away
and learn from it to apply to the next thing.
Speaker 7 (45:07):
It's interesting because in all the responses I was writing
and deleting all weekend, the one part that I had
to take out that I kept, like my brain kept
trying to sneak back in, was I tried my best.
Apparently you think you tried your best and that's good
enough for me. Peace out bitches like like that automatic
closing of the relationship, and I feel like, ultimately why
(45:32):
at least we were able to talk about things with
a little more kindness in our voice, like with a
little more understanding for each other. Was both of us
doing the work to fight to continue a conversation even
if we didn't agree with each other and we didn't
end on the same note. And I only really bring
this up because yesterday I came across an interview that
(45:54):
ts Madison did on nine Leak's show where Nini was
talking about the kinds of men that she wants to date,
and it went into this whole conversation about how the
kinds of men who would date and be interested in
Ts Madison they're gay, are well, yeah, that was Nini's perspective,
(46:15):
is like that they're gay, and I don't want that,
and I don't want that fear I don't and I
promise you, Like when I was watching that interview, I
got so enraged multiple times hearing Nini say things that
were out of ignorance and we're hurtful.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
But the reason I bring this up is I.
Speaker 7 (46:35):
Think Maddie did probably one of the best jobs I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Master class of grace, a master.
Speaker 7 (46:43):
Class of grace at every moment where Nini said something
that could have been really hurtful. Yeah, she said, Okay,
I see what you're saying, but like here's another way
of looking at that. And honestly, a lot of the
time Nini did not end up coming to meet TS
Madison on the lines and see her way, and they
(47:06):
still moved forward until they found a place where they
connected at the end, which is the like all these
niggas is in these streets.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, don't you think that's like a superpower of like
intersectional folks, like especially like black, queer and trans folks,
like we often have to just.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
For our piece a path to peace.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
We often have to kind of meet people where they're
at and oftentimes have to you know, take all the hits,
take all the bricks being thrown at us, just to
be like, well, actually, like let me encourage you and
teach you this valuable lesson.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
And like I understand the anger.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
That comes from like watching a clip like that, because
I also experienced it when I saw it. But it's
so interesting to see the other side of that, where
like TS is so in her space and knows what
she represents, it, has understood her platform and how she
can exist and these cis black spaces that are often.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Rooted in so much ignorance.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
She knows how to show up and be able to
kind of talk about the thing that she doesn't do
it right all the time, Absolutely not, but it is
It's really interesting how it's this this superpower that we
kind of all kind of have to be able to
exist in spaces in the ways that we need.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
To well, because peace is obsolete without conflict and conflict
is not abuse. There's a wonderful book called Conflict Is
Not Abuse, and it's funny. I actually was at this
party with Lena Waith, who will be a guest in
the future on our show, and she and Cynthia were
reading the book at the same time, which was like, kid,
it's like, oh cool, you.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
Guys, you get it.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
And so many folks are afraid of conflict, not realizing
that like through the conflict is where you find the piece.
And what you and Nicole did was not shy away
from the conflict. I'm going to have that conflict, but
knowing that's not abusive or intrinsically harmful or intrinsically you know, negative,
It's actually like conversation, it's communication.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
But instead we always just want to, Oh, let's make
everyone feel good and make sure everyone feels good.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
It's not about feeling good in the moment, it's about
feeling good at the conclusion. About and that's what happened
in this case, is like, it felt terrible, we were hyped,
we were on the group chat.
Speaker 4 (49:19):
We're mad.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
But at the end of the day, we also love
Nicole Bayer. Yeah, do you know what I mean? We
also love seeing black women thrive. We also know that
we have really bad days and you know, who knows
what might happen to us or on this show or
something we might do. But like, let's lean into the conflict.
Know that that's where we find our piece. And I
think you both did that, and it's really impressive. It
(49:40):
went from and I was like reading you you sent
us one message and I was reading I was like, oh,
Nicole said a really nice message, and I was like, wait, no,
Evie wrote that.
Speaker 5 (49:48):
Yeah, no, Chatchpt wrote that. We go Chatchpt. You better
tell this bitch she can go suck it politely.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
Let me pour it a gallon of water to figure
out how to I just love.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
I just really love how like our real life situations
are really helping us like work through some things in
real time, and I hope it's helping our audience work
through some things in real time too, because there's a
lot to be angry about, and there's a lot to
drag folks about.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
But if we can have some conflict and some piece.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
Work, we better be given conflict resolution.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
All Hi, russ hr, take your beef and turn it
into a chop cheese sandwich.
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Call back, all right, we'll be back with our hike.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Hike.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
All right, y'all, welcome back. Now let's get into what
we are high key about this week. Who wants to
go first?
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Oh, oh my god, I'm just gonna get my trash
out of the way.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
So I'm high key obsessed with Love Island, USA, bitch.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
I have been needing all the things to just give
me a place of not thinking about my own life,
our thinking about the life around me. And Love Island
USA does exactly that. If you are not familiar, it's
on Peacock, it's toasted by Ariono Mattox and it's literally
these young singles going on island and they are made
(51:12):
to match with each other. I'm tired of going on
stupid dates.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Love Island find.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Me a match and whoever is like the last kind
of couples at towards the end, and like the audience
votes and says you are a favorite couple.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
You want one hundred thousand dollars that you can split.
This show is just pure mess.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Last season was like a really big season for the
show because it was like basically lightning in a bottle
and the cast got really big and famous and everyone
kind of like loved them. This season, it's a little
bit slower, but I'm still so into it.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
I just I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
About watching, you know, since folks like mates, like I'm
watching the Discovery chant.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
It's like animal Planet.
Speaker 7 (51:54):
Our couples will attempt to raise each other's heart raised
by performing sexy Don Truti.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
But it really is quite wonderful to witness in a
very like what is like the study of humans?
Speaker 1 (52:06):
What's that called humanology?
Speaker 4 (52:09):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Yeah? Anthropology? Is that?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
No?
Speaker 1 (52:11):
No, that's that's that's the story.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
That's like sociology, yeah yeah, But it gives very much
like a class of like watching how this works. And
I don't have very many straight people in my life,
and so being able to watch this all go it's
kind of crazy. I'm a little obsessed with it. I'm
not ashamed. I am high key obsessed.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
We need a David Attenborough like observe the Straight and
It's natural habitat.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah, No, there is.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
A there literally is a British like narrator on the show.
Like he like jokes about like certain situations and like
just kind of leads you into this storytelling. It's really
really great TV. No, Shay, it's awful, but it's great.
I want everyone to watch, and if you are watching,
maybe we should talk about it more on our Patreon.
You should totally so we can deep dive. I have
(53:01):
a lot of things to talk about. I'll watch too,
just so we can deep dive on page.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
I mean you gotta. We're already like eight episodes in.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
There's like four episodes a week that come out, Like
it's pretty the schedule is insane.
Speaker 5 (53:12):
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 7 (53:12):
She's like Big Brother's style, where they're just always watching
these pieces.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
It's happening right now, like it's not it's pre recorded,
but it's like the day before, you know, Like it's
like our podcast basically just like our podcast is Love Island.
Speaker 3 (53:26):
Except none of us are getting one hundred thousand dollars.
Not yet, it's not unless you subscribe to our patreon.
Speaker 7 (53:35):
Every time you subscribe to our Patreon, you give a
black weird one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (53:44):
Look at their us.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
Hi, I'm Sarah McLaughlin. Will you be an angel for
a helpless animal.
Speaker 4 (53:51):
With your gift of just twelve dollars a month? You
two can?
Speaker 5 (53:54):
We can give them my mother.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Over here, My dog is taking up she's ruining my
couch as we speak.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Actually sit down.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
See that's why we need your five dollars. Please subscribe.
I'll go next this week. I'm high key obsessed with
gender affirming haircut videos on the internet.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
To get you off TikTok.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
Found out about.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
TikTok okay, So this is actually amazing. There's like two
that I follow. One is in Rhode Island, this queer barber.
The other is in Portland, of course that's where they are.
And basically what happens is like you get to see
these queers come and like talk about the negative experiences
they've had trying to get their hair done in a
gender affirming way, and you learn their pronouns and you
(54:36):
hear what they want and then you get to see
the transformations.
Speaker 7 (54:39):
I want to get it up great.
Speaker 6 (54:41):
I don't know if you want to mention I'm trying
to look like a little clearer Okay, yeah, I don't know,
like a mullet that telegraphs like I'm not just some guys.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Speaking of like when we pop off, my aries moon
will pop off like Ryan was talking about. But my
cancer son just wants to cry. And so I just
watched these in cry and like, I love the transformation.
And when you see the little queer and they're like,
oh my god, I look like I live in Brooklyn,
and it's like, yeah you do, Yeah you do.
Speaker 4 (55:06):
You look like my neighbor.
Speaker 1 (55:07):
I know a kleenex hates to see you coming.
Speaker 4 (55:10):
Oh yeah, that's therapist.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Wow, what are you haking about?
Speaker 7 (55:18):
The biggest one right now is probably gotta be dying
for sex.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Like it's just such a good you're still watching it.
I'm still watching it. Second week of this being it's
still so good.
Speaker 5 (55:30):
It's making me reflect. But that's why it only gets
a half of my love.
Speaker 7 (55:34):
Okay, because like I already told you all about it,
so let me tell you all about Yeah, we need
a poly obsessed here, who's your third?
Speaker 5 (55:40):
Oh my god?
Speaker 7 (55:41):
Okay, So my other current obsession right now is actually
Miley Cyrus's newest album, Something Beautiful.
Speaker 5 (55:50):
I think it's such an interesting project.
Speaker 6 (55:53):
Something Beautiful right now I feel is much bigger than
the project that we've created. It's about really using art
as a medicine to attempt to heal a sick culture
that I think all of us have been feeling.
Speaker 7 (56:05):
She's kind of given me what Gaga told us she
was going to give us and all the press beforehand, like, yes,
it's going to be duncey and dark and gay, which ultimately.
Speaker 4 (56:16):
This album not dancy and gay totally.
Speaker 7 (56:18):
Well, it was dancy and gay, but she also said
there was going to be a lot of these like
Deeper Techno, ed m Johman, the House nes that.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
Disease.
Speaker 7 (56:29):
Girl, you can't give me the two singles that you're
already selling and be like, yeah, there's a lot of this.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
What about this?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Zombie Boys Boys Disco, Yeah, it's a great one.
Speaker 3 (56:40):
Garden of Eden, Mama Gaga, we love you. Don't listen
to Evie what a she shut the fuck up. I
don't love you, Gaga, I really love you. Stop it
really love you production.
Speaker 7 (56:51):
Cut that shit out, no no, no, but really, what
I enjoy about Miley's album is that there's so many
weird risks that she's taking and it it just makes
it like visual, not visually orally all urally.
Speaker 5 (57:07):
Audibly it's orally no no, no, no, no, no no no,
I'm saying the oral au A R A.
Speaker 7 (57:15):
I'm not going to do this spelling or are you
talking about your mouth like oral O R A L no,
or there's there's orally still still referring to your ears. Okay,
I need somebody to come up. Yeah yeah, but orally interesting.
I like the way it tastes in my mouth ears.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Oh yes. Orally means relating to hearing or the ear.
It's an adverb.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Uhould describe something that affects or it's perceived through the
sense of ear.
Speaker 4 (57:46):
Okay, but the bitch was used incorrectly, But we don't
have to go there.
Speaker 5 (57:51):
I want you sorry, and I want to.
Speaker 4 (57:55):
Modifies the verb and you.
Speaker 1 (57:58):
Wait a second.
Speaker 2 (57:59):
The new music, this is the sentence that they give
the new musical was visually an orally appealing because it's modifying.
Speaker 7 (58:07):
So if a bitch got to finish her original sentence,
it was. I think it was very orally interesting and
orally interesting because not all of the choices were about
sounding the best. Like, I think Miley's voice has really
grown into its own. She knows what she's capable of,
(58:28):
she knows what she really thrives in, and she's got
a really good, like rock and roll voice, and she
did not let that stop her from making this like esoteric,
like transcendental, like vibe dance gay pop album.
Speaker 6 (58:45):
On a scale of one to ten, how gay is
this album?
Speaker 1 (58:49):
Infinite?
Speaker 7 (58:49):
I'm into all sorts of divas leaning into things that
they're passionate about, even if the world tells you, no,
that's not for you, that's not what you should be doing.
So I'm hikey all about Miley.
Speaker 4 (59:00):
This is the real Miley. Yeah, this is the real Miley.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
Like this, I mean, this is her best work because
you know, like when she came out because Eve, you
talked a little bit of shit about when she came
out with Bangers and like she was trying too much.
This was actually, like, you're in your thirties, this is
what I want to make. This is how I want
to sound. It quite literally, is how she wants to sound.
She has a poll up on her vocal cord and
that's what causes her signature voice, and she was talking
about that in an interview.
Speaker 4 (59:24):
I want Miley on this show, I really did.
Speaker 1 (59:26):
I think she would totally do it.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
And I also wish I would have changed my high
key too, because I mind was going to be music related.
But I feel like I'm also high key obsessed with
Adison Ray.
Speaker 1 (59:37):
I can't, I can't, I can't, and I will not
let y'all judge me. Here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (59:41):
Maybe you shouldn't said anything.
Speaker 1 (59:43):
No, you will not judge me.
Speaker 2 (59:45):
This is this is it. Addison Ray's new album just
dropped on June sixth, and it's honestly quite very good,
her debut album.
Speaker 1 (59:55):
She's it's just Addison.
Speaker 2 (59:56):
She's dropping the Ray and I know we all hate
her and she gave and eck because of the tech
took of it all. But it's really been interesting to
hear her in interviews. She did the New York Times podcast,
she did her Zaying Low interview.
Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
I couldn't stop because I was like, well, what if
people forget about me?
Speaker 7 (01:00:12):
What if they don't care? I'm actually telling.
Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
People that the work is disposable and that the work
is not worth.
Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
Thinking about for longer than ten seconds, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
And she's really been kind of talking about her journey
to this point, and I think it's it really is
reflective of what this album is, and I think she's
hungry for it. And I don't know if we necessarily
have had recently a pop girlie who is like doing
her own thing. But then also you can tell is
(01:00:39):
really wanting to grow, which is why I think she's
getting all the support she's getting from all of her
contemporaries around her being like, oh, actually, she knows what
she's doing. I've been in writing sessions with her. She
kind of really gets in is trying to strive for something,
and I'm I'm all for it. I posted about it
and I was like, wait, when did I become an
Addison Ray fan? Like that's kind at because I felt
(01:01:00):
like she was a plant for the long.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
You're not an Addison Ray fan. You're an Addison fan.
I'm an Addison fan.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
I'm not gonna hate on you for being an Addison fan.
I don't know she's great, but if you're out here
telling us we have to give her a shot.
Speaker 7 (01:01:12):
I think what we all need to do is give
everything a cute little sit down. Go to our Patreon,
follow our little culture club, and have a nice listen
through of Addison Ray's album after We also watched the
entire series of Overcompensating together because I know none of
us wanted to.
Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I don't want.
Speaker 7 (01:01:32):
No, we will not be Yeah, but you know what,
My my roommate and my husband both like made me
watch the first episode, and I'm convinced we're gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
I want to watch the new like adult girls, Oh
adult I adult Oh it Tale.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
I want him on the show.
Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
I want to be on that show.
Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
I love love that show so much. It's so so good.
Speaker 5 (01:01:53):
I am trudy. I don't Yeah, I personally don't usually
describe it like that. I usually say like fluid mostly,
but I yeah, I am a fruitcake.
Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Are you lying to me right now?
Speaker 5 (01:02:01):
No, sir, you quit baiting me?
Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
Weird baiting?
Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
No, what is the spectrum of your language?
Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Also, I would write for that show if anyone's listening,
like I want I love that show.
Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
It's really fun, it's great.
Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
It's it's the perfect combination of millennial and gen z humor,
exactly like it's stay really really nailed it, and I'm obsessed.
Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
I wrote a pilot like that, but minding get picked
up whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
O god, oh my god, this is why Icky has
just been reflecting on the things that did.
Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
That didn't get made. Yeah, there we go and pitching
them out.
Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Oh my god, I do that. Another great show, huh Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Where.
Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
I love when we just get to sit and talk
and have a conversation. It'll be nice to have a
guest probably, I think next week, and we'll have many more.
Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
But I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
I love when we can just I feel like we
actually had a conversation where I'm like, wow, I have
a lot more to go think about.
Speaker 4 (01:02:45):
Which is those are the best ones?
Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
And just all I'm saying is whatever I said earlier,
just remember me different, Like this is a judge free zone.
We are all talking about very vulnerable things and our
experiences and no, we're not always going to make the
right decision, but you know, this is where we can
talk about it, and I hope we aren't judge and
if we are, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
Oh yeah, and Nicole Byer, if you would like to
come on our show, You're no longer banned, so.
Speaker 5 (01:03:11):
Yeah, we lifted our twenty four hour band we had well.
Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Thanks for listening and as always, stay messy, stay obsessed,
and stay hi key.
Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Na's your high Key, lov and the vibes. Come hang
with us on Patreon. We're giving you bonus content behind
the scenes, tea group chats. Basically, that's where you'll find
the high Key. Key hi Key is a production of
iHeart Podcasts as part of the Outspoken Network. This show
is created and executive produced by Pano, Keith Ryan, Mitchell,
P v Oddley and Spoke Media.
Speaker 7 (01:03:44):
Our showrunner is Tyler Green. Our producers are Jenna Burnett
and Tess Ryan. Our video lead is Bo Delmore, and
our audio engineer is Sammy Syris. Executive producers for Spoke
Media are Travis Slamont Ballinger and Aleah Tavicollian.
Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
Our iHeart team is Jes Crime Chitch and Sierra Kaiser.
Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Our theme music is by Kayan Hersey and our show
art is by Work by Work with photography by Eric Harter.
Speaker 4 (01:04:06):
Our marketing leader is Jerome Ware from Shorefire Media.
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I feel like I only prioritize like self care when
I'm already in pain.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, you're in pain from your massage. See you're only
telling how this is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Because I don't I don't believe that you're supposed to
be sore after a massage?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Is that normally in.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
A deep tissuy massage? Yeah, yes you are.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Okay girl. They went in there, they were beating.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's like, why do I feel like this? It's like
someone like was like wringing my back for an hour.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Trust me, I know, I think or two about getting
my back blown out.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Can I switch just to a bit of a serious topic,
because of course, I'm mean, I'm really thinking about Los
Angeles right now, and I'm thinking now it's kind of
expanded if you don't know. Unfortunately, we're seeing the federal
government really really take an increasingly disgusting stance on imm
which is just to be sending an ice and militarized
(01:03):
police officers to round folks up without due process. And
this week it's been kind of inspiring. We're starting to
see resistance. We're starting to see protests that reminds me
of when George Floyd was killed. It reminds me of
when we stood up and took.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Action DLA riots with Rodney King. It's it's very similar,
well exactly, but it ain't a riot.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
It's a protest, true, but I wouldn't think you would think.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
It's not the protesters that's creating the riot.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
It's actually the militarized kind of presence that's actually creating
this energy that is so unnecessary. I mean, I lived
so close, like maybe so close. I five ten fifteen
minutes away from downtown. And that's also another reason why
I kind of felt the need to like really dive
into self care, because you know, it's it's something to
(01:52):
be said when I'm spending like an hour on the
phone trying to calm my mom and my grandmother down
because all they're seeing is like Los Angeles, and then
they know my proximity and they're like, are you okay?
Like what's going on? And so calming them down. It's
very reminiscent of the fires. It's like LA hasn't caught
a break, if you really want to think about it,
Like we had COVID, we had the strikes, we had
(02:12):
the fires, and now we're having this like it's we
haven't really had the opportunity to like mourn or grieve
all of these different changes that are happening. And now
so many beautiful people, immigrants who have like built this city,
have built this state, have built this country, are all
kind of like being completely you know, terrorized by folks
(02:36):
that are supposed to protect. It's it's very disappointing, and
it's very scary when all you can hear is just
like helicopters outside just like kind of swirling around.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Well, and then like, the thing that's bugging me is
that I'm being told that I should be angry at
these protesters. I'm being told that I should care more
about property than I do about human beings. I'm being told,
first of all, can we talkalk about something, because I
think I'm so sick of hearing illegal immigrants. It is
not illegal to be in this country without documentation. It
(03:07):
is literally not a crime to be in this country.
It is a civil infraction. There's nothing illegal being done.
Yet we're seeing people swooped up like their terrorists, without
due process, sent all around, being sent to out Salvadorian prisons.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Honestly, that reminds me a lot of.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
I know everybody wants to always like make this comparison
as extra spicy, touchy right now, but this really does
remind me of a lot of the earlier stories I
remember reading from the beginning of the Holocaust, like where
people were given a common enemy that they started to
look against. So when militarized officials started breaking into homes,
(03:49):
sweeping them up, taking them out of the country and
throwing them in other countries random work camps. I know
there's worlds difference between what's happening, but the treatment of
humans who you may not fully understand, who help build
your space is exactly the same.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mean speaking to even the downtown of it all, right,
where like being named like they want us to protect
these buildings. First of all, downtown is Gotham City, Yeah
it was. It was never a place where anyone like,
you know, like downtown living is the gingrified downtown living
that people talk about, but downtown is a little bit rough,
(04:32):
like no shade.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
And also I think this is also a.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Really great prime example of something that I hope which
I don't think we'll ever see in our lifetime, democrats
like learning, you know, Gavin Knew Some's such an interesting
character to me because he is someone that was just
in the face of Donald Trump trying to like kiss
his ass and play the game and then having really
harmful Republicans on our conservatives on basically undermining trans folks
(04:57):
and sports and all these things, and he was thinking
he was probably trying to play both sides, to play
the long game. Guess what, You're back at square one
where Donald Trump is literally threatening to arrest you and
calling you knew scum.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Like right after you made all of these moral concessions.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
The.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Win from assimilating.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Period, you'll never win trying to play both sides. And
I think this is just another example of like, it's
so interesting to me as like we're seeing, especially him
in this moment. He always has this way of like
regaining the audience that he lost before because it's like, oh,
everyone's team Knew Some now, and I'm just like, do
y'all not see the game that he's playing.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
He's willing to just.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Completely throw away all his morals and then the next
second he's like Superman or something like he's not saving anyone.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
That's like here in New York, Cuomo's about to Andrew Cuomo,
former governor of New York, is about to be the
mayor of New York City. This man literally was like
removed from office sexual harassment, all sorts of other alleged crimes.
I'm saying alleged because I have to you know, like
this man, this man is scum. Which is crazy that
he's reading again. But people are like, oh, I know
(06:06):
that name. Let me check that bough.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm sorry, new York never gets their mayor.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
No, we don't, No, we don't.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Right, I don't know what's going on over there.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
We have a real shot here.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
And rank choice voting really changes the game because of
what it means is that it gives you a shot
to not just pick one person, but to pick who
your second choice to be your third choice would be.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Ranked choice voting. Story, are you saying what New York has?
Speaker 7 (06:26):
Like a first, I want Mickey Mouse, and then second,
I want Jessica Biel from that one movie she did,
and then third I'll take young Kanye West, like back when.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
He was saying George Bush hates black people.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
No, it's more like someone's like, oh, I wanted Brooklyn
Heights number one, but.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
To and look what happened.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I saw that AOC posted her rankings, which I don't
normally pay attention to a ton of New York politics,
and so I was like, is this a new kind
of thing where it's like people are saying, here's your choice,
and I'm going to rank them from the best to like,
they're still great, but now.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It's about averages.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
And so if no one wins that majority of plurality
of the vote on that first round, then it starts
to do math that I'm not trying to do. But
the math starts math, and and you might get down
to a fifth ballot and it might really matter who
you ranked six. It's like the All Stars when they
were like rank a queen. It's very rank a queen.
And then you're like, oh, some of those girls who
were bad were putting the best girls at number seven
(07:27):
because they wanted to, you know, fix the math.
Speaker 7 (07:30):
Four divas have named smath number one to divas number two,
and then one lonely Lana, what.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Names number four.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
It's kind of like that, Oh my god, you're literally
like me, what I see like pop Crave like post
something about like politics, and I'm like, translate this into stan.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Can you translate this for the girls. That's what I'm
here for. That's what I'm here for. Well, bro, clearly.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
There's a lot that's been charged this week.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
I'm like very thankful that y'all both seem fine and
well and alive despite the chaos of the world we're in.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Like, what's been up with you?
Speaker 7 (08:08):
Like, I want to hear what's what's one thing, good thing,
bad thing about your weekend?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh? Been go ahead you first? Oh that's not fair.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Well, I have a tommy ache right now, so that's
been kind of fraw.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm telling you. The black remedy is ginger ale.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
It really is ginger ale. I know, I or some
like ginger beer.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I almost got like the Jamaican ginger beer at the
bodega down the street.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
I'm glad that you.
Speaker 7 (08:30):
Said Jamaican because I was about to come out and
be like ginger beer.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Oh, so you're doing the white version of ginger ale.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
The Irish version. I am an o keith? I mean which?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh that did I tell y'all the last time I
was in New York, I've had a chop cheese for
the first time.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh, congratulations, out of odego, Yes, out of bodega.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Yeah, they're kind of gross. I know, I'm going to
hell for that.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Oh you cannot say that. Okay, you're gonna get hate crimes.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
No, this is actually so real because it was like
four o'clock.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
In the morning, or maybe it was like two something,
but either way, I was way pass like sober, and
I got like I.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Just got it playing.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I got it with cheese, maybe some lettuce, and that
was it, and like, I guess I didn't really It
gives like sloppy Joe texture without the sauce.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yeah, it's ground beef. For folks who are not in
the know, a chopped cheese is one of the signature
sandwiches of New York City bodegas. Bodegas are like small
little corner stores with a deli in them, and they
literally take ground beef like a hamburger meat and they
chop it up with some cheese and some onion and
a little special sauce on it, and that's your chopped
cheese on some bread and uh, yeah, it is kind
(09:36):
of like a saw.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
It's just ground beef.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
Yeah, But the thing that makes it gross, and this
is a common staple among like New York City like
food carts, specifically those like hot dog carts where you're like, yeah,
I'd like a Philly cheese steak.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
Why are these bitches putting old soggy lettuce on everything?
Like the chopped cheese part.
Speaker 7 (09:57):
Would have been good if they didn't decide to think
that it was like a gourmet burger and be like, yeah,
we should mush some tomatoes and lettuce in there, give
it a coli, Like, does anyone have a couple of
pickles we can just mush so that you're eating a
big sloppy pile of soggy ball like.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
That fla on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
They call that like a chopped sandwich, and it's really popular.
They do it with everything that's gross.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I feel like I would try it again, but I
think a chop cheese is literally just a necessary like
drunk snack. You need it to like soak up the
liquor from the base of that thing, because you're also
not worried about if everything is clean because that modegga.
I swear all the chips were like from two thousand
and nine.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
They were all open, so someone took the bitting them.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Cat does a lot of cleaning during the time, yes,
and so I was just kind of like, that was
really exciting.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Okay, but you're a tummy gaate. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
No, I have a hummegg I'm fine. That was the story.
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Yeah, so there's that I'm going to a protest today
with my brother and.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
We're you know me, I'm a little activist.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You're no, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You It's so interesting because I find that being, especially
in this process, has talked about how he doesn't want
to be like viewed as like serious or like he
wants to be at the intersection of like politics and
like pop culture, which I think he does already beautifully.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
But it's so interesting. I'm like, it's kind of low key.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You're calling You're great at it, the way that you're
able to break down these really complicated things. We are
Every friend group needs a you, and I just want
you to sit in there.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, you know, I just like the drama. I just
like the beef. That's what I like about politics. I
cannot stand injustice and like if something's wrong, I'm like,
why is no one fixing this?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
This could be better?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And unfortunately in life you start to realize, like often
you're the person or you and your community. I've stopped
thinking that it's me. I think that's the ego of activism,
and for so.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Long that I think it's you. I think you're the problem.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
No, I think not. No, I stopped thinking I was
the solution.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Yeah yeah, Abar so correct.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Sometimes I am the problem.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But I really think it's about like community power, collective power.
When we show up in masses, we can do anything.
There literally are more of us than there are of them,
but we are intentionally I think, toxic individuality. And this
is something that WoT culture has brought upon us, has
removed the us and the wei and it's all about me.
And you have to realize that you are a puzzle
(12:30):
piece in a much bigger picture than you, and you
have to humble yourself enough to know. And that's why
I love being out a protest. That's why I love activism.
It's like because I know that I am going to
be my little piece, my little lego, my little part,
and I'm going to fit into it and let's build
something beautiful together.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You know that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (12:48):
It's funny because I love obviously, I love to protest.
I love to fight I've I love some injustice, Show
me some injustice because I'm gonna scream about it, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
See I hate injestice.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
I think injustice is natural.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
I think humans have always found a way to put
themselves above each other. I think the fun part about
the fact that we're such fucked little creatures sometimes is
like what you were saying, Ben, when you notice something,
it is ultimately your responsibility to choose how to act
and choose how to try and make a greater change
for something bigger than yourself. I think it's just interesting
(13:26):
how protesting and activism in general seemed to look like
they were something that wasn't being done as effectively after
I'd say, like the kinds of protests we saw in
twenty twenty with George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter
movement in general, and then you get another deep dig
(13:47):
into another community that really isn't doing shit to the
people who are trying to hurt them.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, And I mean, for me, it's kind of like,
even if I'm flashing back to twenty twenty when everything
was happening, and I think obviously there was a major
like health situation going and people were still in the
streets doing the work. I always found myself to be
always kind of very like nervous to be out in
the streets in that way, right, like i've I would
(14:16):
do it, But then I found myself being like hearing
my mom's you know, single black mother voice in the background,
being like, I don't want to get that phone call
that something has terribly happened to like my child. And
then also like I was like, well, how can I
use my talents of like being able to talk about
(14:36):
these really important issues, maybe not be in the streets,
but how can I use them behind the mic or
in front of a camera? How can I talk about
these things in a really like beneficial way. And I
don't know if I will ever necessarily be the in
the streets sort of protester. And I kind of want
to name that because I think it's important for folks
(14:57):
who don't necessarily think that's their lane. And I don't
don't think there's anything wrong with that, But it's like,
as long as you're still talking, as long as you're
still bringing it up, and as long as you're still
willing to learn and exists in a space that feels
like goods for you as well as doing the work.
I think it's just fine because I don't know. Sometimes
(15:17):
I felt guilty about not being like the bin of
the group girl, And I know there's people around me
being the bin of the group well.
Speaker 7 (15:24):
And I think people who are pushing for everyone to
rise up and to protest are in the right with
their motives. You know, we all should be fucking pissed
about what we're seeing. You should be raising your voice
about so many issues around the world. I think what
maybe got lost during the COVID years, when we were
(15:45):
all trapped inside on our computers and had nothing but
time to sit and pick apart all the ways that
the world had hurt us and that we were hurting
each other. I think people maybe lost sight of the
fact that just because somebody doesn't take the same actions
you do does not mean they don't care, and that
(16:06):
there is no moment ever that it is too late
for somebody to be informed on how to better a cause,
how to join a movement. I feel like there was
this point where it became, oh, you don't you don't
know black people are dying in the streets, You fucking racist,
and like you're talking to like some Indian guy who
(16:28):
literally just got here on a plane yesterday, Like, no,
of course he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yes and yes, And because I think it's important. I
think it's important that we give people grace and we
and we let people know that redemption is the journey.
And for a long time I was in this space
of like I was a professional cancelor literally, like that's
what I did on the internet for a living. And
that's not the right disposition. That being said, I think
(16:53):
people need to take accountability for how and where they
show up. I think people need to take accountability for
their actions, and I think ultimately we need to eradicate ignorance. Ignorance,
by its very definition, is a lack of knowledge. So
I don't need you in the street, I don't need
you posting on social media. I need you educating yourself,
dismantling your ignorance, and then sharing that education with others
(17:17):
so that you're doing the work within your community to
make the change you need to make. But I do
think that hey, first of all, you can be a
brown person and be anti black. You can be a
black person and be absolutely in this. Of course they are,
because that's what they want. They want marginalized people to
stay marginalised. They want us to stay on the margins.
(17:38):
They want us to stay away from each other and
not realize that like when we show up together, that's
when we can do anything. We can say, any election
in this country, if the people who believed in the
progressive values that we believe in that I can say
most of us probably believe in who are listening to
a show like this, if we all showed up, we
would win. But we need to We need to make
(17:59):
it more inviting. And so that doesn't mean just shitting
on people. It means like open like opening a door,
but then knowing that people need to step up and
do the work to get through it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Which speaking of I feel like the the inviting piece.
I feel like what ev is speaking of specifically were
folks that were doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
For social media contents.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
And I think that's where I found, especially twenty twenty
to be a little icky at times performing how we
yeah performative activism, and it felt like, okay, are you
are you rehearsing these lines? Are you like, are you
thinking of this to be your next step? I mean,
that's why we had so many people questioned towards the
(18:41):
more recent years around like the Black Lives Matter movement
and what was being done and who was in charge
and what was how much money they were how much
money they were do like making and how it got
very trucking.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Jean King, Oh, oh my god, that white man.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But you know, but Sean King lived on President Street,
like a few blocks up from me. We were coming
up at a very similar time on the internet, and
we talked about it, and he made a very conscious
decision to go into grifting, and I made a very
conscious decision not to that. I may have made a
lot of money, made a lot more followers than me.
What you talked about it. I mean, we sat there
and we had a conversation, like we've I knew Sean.
(19:15):
You know what I'm saying, Like everyone who gets into
it for a profession, that's the problem. It's like you,
it becomes about making money and paying your bills. Yea,
and that's wrong, do you know what I mean? And
it becomes about ego. And I was super complicit in this.
I had to do a lot of ego worth because
I was in Activism is all rooted in ego. It's
(19:35):
all about self either trying to save myself or heal
myself when you look outward and realize that you're doing
something for someone else, even if you never get to
see it, because you might go to that protest and
get your ass killed and then you don't get the benefit.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
But we don't. We can't.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
We have to stop looking at like how we only
can make things work for us. We have to start
really thinking about the wei, and to Eve's point, we
have to start giving people grace. And it's easier said
than done, because sometimes you just want to be angry
and you have the it's righteous anger, but it's not productive.
It's not going to fix anything for yourself or for
anyone you care about, which is.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I think is the line that can be a little
blurry when it comes to the activists who are starting
to make money and kind of making this their career,
because one it's like they are doing it. They start
off doing it with the best intentions, and then once
they start to like gain some notoriety and these opportunities
come on board, it's like, Okay, I still want to
(20:34):
continue to lead with my intentions, but then also I'm
making a name for myself, which creates stability, and we
still live in a capitalist society, so it's kind of like,
where's the balance of understanding?
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Like, all right, I'm still for the people.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I'm still about making equitable societies and fighting for equality,
but I also still want to grow in this and
kind of become a leader in that way. Like I
just I'm so curious about how a person thinks about
that next step forward?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Can I tell you?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I think it has to be a balance between audacity
and humility. The audacity to know that you, as an
individual will have the power to make immense change in
your life and the lives of others, that you you
actually may have a calling for that, and that might
mean that you have to build platform. Sometimes you have
to build that platform so that you can share that platform.
(21:28):
But the humility is what reminds us that the audacity
alone is not enough. The humility reminds us that we
need each other, that we can't. No one got where
they are by themselves, not a single person.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
That's not true. That's not true. Drake started from the
bottom and now he's here.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
But he's not like us. Nobody.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Wait wait, wait that actually speaking of Drake and Kendrick Ivie,
do you want to talk I know that you had
some shit and Ryan you were there too, because y'all
and no one's talking about it, and I think we
should talk about it.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
We're talking about beef and you have some active.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
We're talking about chopped cheese.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
We're talking about about making concessions.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
We're talking about humility and grace. Y'all. I had the
wildest weekend.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
I think we need to take a break before I
get into it, though, because it really was gnarley.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, yeah, stay tuned because there is some behind the
scenes tea that we really need to discuss.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, between Evie and Nicole Byer. We'll see in a minute.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Welcome back to high key.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Yes, okay, Evie, no more suspense. You gotta tell us.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
What happen pease? Oh my god, I know.
Speaker 7 (22:46):
Honestly, neither do I. I was flown out to LA
to record Nicole Byer's podcast. You know, I was coming
straight from the airport. It's Pride season. I like had
a million gigs before and after that. I was shifting around,
and uh, you know, I was stressed and and I
know I was late, but actually I wasn't late. I
(23:07):
was two minutes before time, which is still late.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Which was oddly though, is pretty damn good.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
I mean, yeah, that's like years early for a dragon,
not Evey oddly. I am literally the most punctual fucking
drag queen on this planet.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Especially because you got you came straight off of the.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Fly, like you couldn't have been there any earlier.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, and you're doing this for you know, promotion for
the show, and like you're it's it's it's I'm happy
that you were able to.
Speaker 7 (23:32):
Me too, girl, But it was it was still wild because,
like as I said, I've been flying back and forth
all around our country trying to promote the gay agenda,
and uh, I went to LA to record this podcast.
I showed up to the studio. Ryan was actually there
and we got to have a little bit of a
tiny key, but through a fucking like waterfall of miscommunication,
(23:58):
Nicole and I ended up waiting for each for forty
five minutes in rooms right fucking next to each other.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Totally. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I mean, honestly, I don't want to blame myself, but
I feel like maybe I'm the bad luck charm here
because I live right down the street from the studio
that Nicole shoot said, right, So I was like I'm
gonna look home and say hi and come eat lunch,
especially because Tyler, our showrunner, was like, oh I got food, honey,
I'm not passing up no good lunch, especially in ate
all day, and of course I've to come see Ev too.
It just was like, okay, I got there maybe around
(24:29):
like I probably got there around maybe like two fifteen ish,
like two maybe two o five, and I knew y'all
were back there. You were getting ready and like they
were like, okay, let's eat, and so I was like,
all right, cool, let's eat. And I walked past the
intro to kind of give a format of like what
the studio look like. You walk in the door and
you see a window through the window is where you
(24:51):
see a coolebuyer sitting in the studio, right, And I'm like, okay,
what I didn't say Hi. I just kind of went
back and found Tyler came and got me.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
We went back and saw Ev and it was like
a whole little thing, right.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Yeah, and then we were we like had lunch.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You face timed me, and this is why I know
the timeline. Okay, I went back and checked Ryan. You
could not have arrived at two fifteen because in reality,
when you called me, it was two eleven Pacific times?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
How was it out?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And I said, what time does the interview start? And
it was said twelve minutes ago. But no one's coming gotten.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
See, look at the receipts.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
So those are the receipts. Look at the back checking
MPR that. Yeah, you're all. That's so good journalism.
Speaker 7 (25:33):
That's what's wild, is like I guess in a way,
all three of us were sitting in a room next
to Nicole Buyer for forty five minutes, who was sitting
in a room waiting for me for forty five minutes? Okay,
and then what happened like they come and get you.
I wasn't there.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Granted, we also were like king. We were like having
a great time.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
Oh yeah, we were king.
Speaker 7 (25:54):
We were being loud, we were having the only high
key key like you you already know my lafe was
blowing out their wall.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Yeah, like our microphones.
Speaker 7 (26:03):
But nobody, nobody came to get me, Like I've never
been in a green room without some production assistant like
glued to my back, being like five minutes, five and
a half minutes.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, and the host normally comes in and says, oh, hey, Evie,
thank you so much for me or I'm so happy
you're here. And that is also in my opinion, coming
on the host, if we're behind, it's like, oh shit,
I think actually we were supposed to start five minutes ago.
You want to come with me now, like have a conversation.
Speaker 7 (26:29):
But that's what ultimately didn't happen at that point is
like we both just sat in our rooms doing whatever,
living our lives, living our emotions. And then after forty
five minutes, her producer came in and essentially told us.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Kick you out, kick you out.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Yeah, she told me to go home.
Speaker 7 (26:49):
She's like, oh, we should look for a new day
to reschedule. When I made it quite clear at least
in that moment that I flew in for this fucking
shit during price month to cancel the doctor's appointment.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
And a dick appointment, that is a less It was.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
It was pretty serious.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I think Adasa was like, I could have done my taxes.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
Girl, I actually have two years ago.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Okay, I have things to do.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Okay, y'all, don't call it out. The irs might be listening.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Oh okay, this is.
Speaker 7 (27:20):
No so like you know, it just was like a
horrible horrible situation. And that's how I was like ready
to leave it in my mind, you know, when you're
when you're hurt. I think it's so valid for somebody
to feel like I don't ever want to see that
person again. I'm not putting up with their stuff. They
wronged me, and that's all it was.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Yeah, there was a lot the show.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
There was a lot of things at play in that
moment because, like obviously just from just kind of sitting
there watching everything this, we're in a studio full of women,
one Nicole and her two producers, which one we did
not meet until later on, who delivered the message of
like this is over, and then they're white, Nicole's black,
and then it's Evie and I two black folks. And
(28:05):
Evie was really valid in her like I just put
my nails on.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I'm literally like we were getting up and about to walk.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Over because we were wondering, well, what's about to happen,
and it just felt like, all right, well, I couldn't
really add to this pot of things because then you
we might be looked at as misogynists and then to
you know, really irate black folks like about to go
land on these like little two white girls who one
of them is like, I didn't know I was in
(28:33):
a meeting for forty five minutes, so I had no clue.
So it's kind of like what more can you do?
And it was really disappointing to like walk out of
that building and all we do is look through that
window that I mentioned earlier, and we're seeing like Nicole
with her arms crossed and her and her legs crossed.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And not even like saying anything.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Right. I wanted to tap on that window and be
like for real, says but it's like, what more could
we do? This is not our house, and I'm not
like we can't. We can't burn this bridge. It's it
would be completely unnecessary, even though it was, but it
did feel like, unfortunately that she had already made up
her mind a story. Yeah, she had a story about
(29:14):
this moment in this thing.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
And we all do that.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
We all do that where it's like wow, they're over
there sitting and laughing and king, and I'm sitting over
here like I don't have anything to do.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
He didn't invite me to key, where's my food?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
It doesn't matter whatever stories we create in our head,
because all we have is one side of the equation.
But I will say I think what happened sort of
what happened next is actually kind of impressive A because
I loved how we all got on the phone and
we all like were there for each other.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
And like oh yeah coh being immediately when we were
in the car and I was like okay, and then
Bian was like, let's FaceTime.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Even I was like, work, let's get us all on
a call so we can vic girl.
Speaker 7 (29:49):
And I was still there outside of the studio, like
looking for Nicole, Yeah, looking for Nicole, looking for a
little bit of pot to smoke. So I didn't light
up like like flowed on the spot looking for my
uber since I was gonna be going back to like
a flying back home where I could have slept eight
gone to my doctor's appointment, taking my shit, and also
(30:11):
like been really pissy that my time was wasted. And
it's funny because I did reach out to Nicole after that,
like a pretty close, pretty close to immediately, and I
have to admit that my first reaction was just like
outrage and shock, with like a hint of how.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
The fuck dare you?
Speaker 7 (30:33):
Yeah, and and uh she responded exactly the same way
and she brought up some really good points. She was like, yeah,
you were sitting and laughing around in a recording studio
for forty five minutes, like you did show up like
close to the time that recording started, and they're all
these experiences, and it felt like you didn't care about me.
(30:56):
And my first reaction to that was to write her
the next go fuck yourself, go suck a bag of
Dick's message. And instead I took all weekend to like
really reflect on it, and every time I started writing
out a response to her response, if it got if
it became too much about me and how I was
(31:17):
attacked and I was hurt, And then I had to
like take a step back because I realized that I
was never gonna I was never going to actually have
a conversation with her like before me. I had two options,
which were you can either burn this bridge with Nicole
Byer and go talk a bunch of shit about her
(31:38):
on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Granted that that was the plan and that was that
was the tea.
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Or you know, you can like try and still make
it clear that you're hurt and still make it clear
that like things could have been handled better, but own
up to your own faults and also trying to have
some grace and empathy when explaining your point of view
to somebody else. So you know, all weekend I was
(32:07):
writing these messages, taking like taking the base out of
my voice before I finally figured out the wording to
be like, I really am sorry, I'm really sorry. I
know how disrespected you must have felt sitting in that
room for forty five minutes, like hearing me key and
laugh and and that's not okay. I would never put
(32:30):
up with some experience like that.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
And she said the same thing, did she yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
And like, and then I still made my point of
like I just didn't know I had any control in
that situation because I didn't, and it allowed her the
space to get out one last little well I've never
had anything happen like that, and that was like insane,
I can't believe it before she did the biggest thing ever.
(32:57):
So you know, as much as I like want a
beef with Nicole Bayer just because like it's fun.
Speaker 5 (33:02):
To yell every now and then, it's fun.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
While you needed a good beef.
Speaker 7 (33:07):
It has and it's fun, I think I think going
back to like our earlier points, ben I think it's
very easy to get caught up in your own self righteousness,
like yes you can be right, and yes you can
be righteous, but it should never come at the cost
of somebody else's humanity. And I want to give such
major like props to Nicole Byer because she actually said sorry.
(33:32):
She wrote out everything that she needed to get out
emotionally about how disrespected she felt, and then she said,
I realize I could have done something as well. I
realized where I made my errors as well, and I'm
truly sorry. And yeah, I know that you're probably salty
as fuck with me right now, girl, but I'd be
(33:54):
willing to try again. And it's that energy that honestly
really shifted my entire perspective not only about how you
bring up points of conflict in the world and how
you fight for things that you know should be differently,
but also how you reconcile differences that may not be
(34:18):
fully agreed upon.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
This is actually bringing up a lot for me because
I feel like I'm not once you ever like shy
away from conflict. I actually feel like I've gotten in
trouble for my spicy mouth, especially when it came to
like I normally don't argue with friends, but there have
been a couple of people in my lives where it's
(34:40):
gotten there and it's gone there, and I feel like
it's It's one of those things where it's like I've
never really learned until after it happened, that once you
say something, you can't take it back, and that for
me always kind of like fucked with me and like
kind of hurt me in a lot of different ways
because I.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Was like, fuck, I knew I did not want to
even go there. I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I even kind of like felt I let the pot
boil over and I let it kind of take over me.
And it's something that I feel like I've had to
learn about myself of like seeing examples from maybe people
I've grown up with, and that's maybe taught me of
how to deal with and be like a switch where
(35:25):
I think people see me and they meet me immediately
they're like.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Oh, Ryan's a sweet person.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
But like when I switch, I switch, I get very cold,
I get very like bitch, fuck you, and I might
have something to say, and I'm like I'm trying to
not be that way anymore because I do think of
myself as a very self aware person, but I also
know that in that self awareness, it's like, damn, how
do you come back from saying the thing that you
(35:50):
didn't want to say and like apologize and take accountability for.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
That saying something you said just to hurt or just
to be right.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Yeah I wanted to say it, Yeah, but did you
need to?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And it's and it's one of those things where it's
like I it sometimes takes learning a lesson of like
y'all were able to come to terms and and have
a beautiful moment a reconciliation. But I've experienced the other
side where I've completely like lost people. And it's not
to say that it was all on me. It takes
(36:21):
two to tango, but it's like I reflect, especially on
one particular situation. I reflect on that situation, I'm like,
what could I have done differently? And is there going
to become a moment in time, hopefully in the future
that we'll be able to reconnect?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Is it too late?
Speaker 6 (36:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Is it too late?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
And maybe it is Maybe that's a consequence of this beef.
Maybe it's that's just comes with the territory.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
I'm I'm curious Ryan, and actually, uh like Ben because
I know that we're all brash people, you know, brash.
Oh my god, I actually don't know what brash means.
I thought it was just when you get a rash
on your bike. Indeed we are, yeah, but no, I'm
I'm I'm a little curious. Do you think there's any
(37:06):
benefit to allowing some sort of explosiveness because just for context, uh,
you know, I yelled as fuck in that studio when
I was told to get out, Like, I tried to
keep the smile on my face while my contacts were
sliding out of my eyes. My nails were like popping
off one by one. But I was making my point
(37:28):
by being like, I.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Cannot believe are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I'm just sitting it, which made it even more juicier
than the fact that Nicole was in the other room
and can hear the whole thing?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
I hear the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Still, didn't I say to the Honestly, I gotta give
her our teams because that's pretty cut.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
She just sat there, her legs crossed and didn't even
say nothing.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
It pissed me off in a moment, But when I
can reflect on it, and I'm like, oh, you gotta
hate that I know if.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
We were on her side, we would have been like, yeah,
you don't owe them a single word.
Speaker 7 (37:54):
Listen to that bitch over there, she better get heated,
and if she breaks something, we're suing.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
This is a nice ass studio. The arm fell the curtains, bitch,
Oh my god.
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Well no, okay, But to follow the up, I'm curious,
was there a moment where you allowed yourself a little
bit of explosiveness or where you may have been in
the wrong, and whether or not that's the case, how
did you find some sort of reconciliation.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
What's your best reconciliation?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Well, first of all, sometimes you gotta scream. I remember
my partner had a cancer scare and we really thought
my partner had cancer for a moment, and we were
coming back from a scan and someone like cut us off,
and we rolled down the window and just chewed them out.
I wish I could give it to you, but Jenna
would be like, bleep, bleep, bleep everywhere to tell you
what we shared. And we just looked at each other
(38:44):
and you're like, oh, do you feel really good? Like,
oh my god, oh my god. You know, sometimes you
gotta yell.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
I y'all fell in love with each other after screaming
at a tack, so like we just fell in love
in that moment.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
No, it just made us even deverse, like that's my person.
But you know, like I think that it can be cathartic.
I also am a very bold person. I mean, I'm
a very transparent person. I say what I mean. And
that's the problem is sometimes I meant what I said.
I said what I said, but I still should apologize.
Do you know what I'm saying it's still hurts someone.
(39:16):
I'm not apologizing for my opinions. I'm apologizing that I
inflicted harm.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
I think that's very big because the natural way of
life is that whether or not you mean to, you're
going to be hurting things around you.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
Now, Like you want to go to the grocery store,
you're stepping on the grass.
Speaker 5 (39:35):
You're hurting that grass. Yeah, and this is a little
like off track.
Speaker 7 (39:40):
But like, if you know you're hurting somebody, then I
think it's pretty big to apologize for that pain, even
though I also think it's important for you to express
that that hurt.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
You know, I was trying to hurt them, like the
hurt that I felt, and I think it takes a
lot of intelligence to be get at hurting people with
your words. Like I I know that I know what
to say to get to someone, and it's just a
choice that I mean. Now, I also think that I
deserve to be transparent about my feelings and I really
(40:15):
like honesty my whole and I think Ryan and Evie
both I want people to just say what it is
and let's just be straightforward with it. And yeah, I
think there's been a lot of times where I've messed
up relationships because I just was angry and I didn't
feel like code switching. I didn't feel like playing nice.
That's the hard part, is like the responsibility gets put
(40:37):
on us, and that's the thing. It's like it was
Evie who reached out, even though like Evie really was
the most wronged in this situation if you look back objectively, right,
even though it was not Nicole's intention or anyone's intention,
but it was an incumbent on Evie to like repair
the harm that was done to her. And I often
think that's how it is, and maybe that's just being
(40:57):
the bigger person.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
And I also wonder, like can those moments.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Define actually if a relationship is worth keeping because I
sometimes want to be able to like have the space
where I know that, yes, I'm never going to disrespect
someone enough to like just continue to do it and
like try to tear them down. But like when things
(41:23):
get heated, I want to know that, like we could
come back to terms and you'll still like love me
and still accept me for me and all the parts
of me. And sometimes I feel like in the past,
like moments where I have gotten heated are like in
arguments with folks that I actually deeply cared about. It
felt like that's when they showed me like this relationship
(41:45):
was conditional and like they weren't able to really like
accept me for like all the pieces of me. They
only really liked the one side of Ryan that was
like very acceptable and sweet and nice. But the moment
that like I show you that I was rubbed the
wrong way or I felt armed, fucked over it all switched,
that was your last straw, And I'm just like, well, then,
(42:06):
did I ever really want you in my life? Like
did I ever really need that? Because like that's a
trigger for me, Like no, Shay, Like even when I
think about my relationship with my mom, I've had to
talk to her about, you know, like what unconditional love
and what conditional love is, and like feeling like I've
had to hide pieces of myself, my queerness, the way
that I show up in the world just to be
(42:27):
acceptable for her is a trigger. And if I feel
that in my relationships, my platonic my friendships that are
oftentimes as close to me as familiar relationships, it does
something to me.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
And it's like, damn, I now hate myself.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
And then I also kind of like feel a certain
way that you never really probably deeply cared about me
in the ways that I deeply cared about you.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
And I don't know, it's.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I guess, like what my question Ryan is like what
did you do? Like what action did you take at
that moment? Were you trying to keep be the glue
and keep it together or were you like, Okay, if
you don't want me, I don't want you.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
Like was there a conversation was.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
That I'm very much the type of person.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Oh, oh, I'm very much the type of person that
is kind of like, well, if we're not going to
solve this, let's just cut it off now.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Oh it sucks, and I hate I hate I'm genuinely
being I'm being so vulnerable now I know this about myself.
Like I try to like get ahead of the thing
because I'm like, it obviously speaks to all the their
therapies things, and maybe I need to go see doctor
Orna from couple's therapy. But it's it is something that
I've realized. Like I had a falling out with a
(43:41):
friend who I we needed to take some time apart
from each other and we ended up coming back and
it was fine, but it's still a little weird, no shade,
but we it was hard for me to to take
that time away from each other because I was like, well,
can we not just solve this and like it be
like us moving forward, but they needed time still right
like and for me, I was like, well, I couldn't
(44:04):
compute that in my brain. I was like, well, what
are we wasting our time for? Like just let's just
let's move on and we just don't need each other
in our lives. And I had to like learn that
that's not necessarily the way of doing things, Like sometimes
people do need to beat and like you don't need
to control the situation and control their feelings or how
they're going to feel to be able to like maneuver forward,
(44:26):
and like that's something that I've learned, but I'm still
constantly dealing with because it is it does sometimes feel
like a protective mechanism where I'm like, well, I'm protecting myself.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
Then you own piece.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Yeah, then I don't.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
But then it can be like a compat because I'm like, actually, no,
I when I reflect back, I'm like, actually really love
this person and I hate that this situation happened that
changed things.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yeah, did I owe them brace? And did I owe
myself grace?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
And it's it gets complicated, which is why I said earlier,
like sometimes a consequence that come out of this is like, yeah,
maybe things will dissolve, But what did I take away
and learn from it to apply to the next thing.
Speaker 7 (45:07):
It's interesting because in all the responses I was writing
and deleting all weekend, the one part that I had
to take out that I kept, like my brain kept
trying to sneak back in, was I tried my best.
Apparently you think you tried your best and that's good
enough for me. Peace out bitches like like that automatic
closing of the relationship, and I feel like, ultimately why
(45:32):
at least we were able to talk about things with
a little more kindness in our voice, like with a
little more understanding for each other. Was both of us
doing the work to fight to continue a conversation even
if we didn't agree with each other and we didn't
end on the same note. And I only really bring
this up because yesterday I came across an interview that
(45:54):
ts Madison did on nine Leak's show where Nini was
talking about the kinds of men that she wants to date,
and it went into this whole conversation about how the
kinds of men who would date and be interested in
Ts Madison they're gay, are well, yeah, that was Nini's perspective,
(46:15):
is like that they're gay, and I don't want that,
and I don't want that fear I don't and I
promise you, Like when I was watching that interview, I
got so enraged multiple times hearing Nini say things that
were out of ignorance and we're hurtful.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
But the reason I bring this up is I.
Speaker 7 (46:35):
Think Maddie did probably one of the best jobs I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Master class of grace, a master.
Speaker 7 (46:43):
Class of grace at every moment where Nini said something
that could have been really hurtful. Yeah, she said, Okay,
I see what you're saying, but like here's another way
of looking at that. And honestly, a lot of the
time Nini did not end up coming to meet TS
Madison on the lines and see her way, and they
(47:06):
still moved forward until they found a place where they
connected at the end, which is the like all these
niggas is in these streets.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, don't you think that's like a superpower of like
intersectional folks, like especially like black, queer and trans folks,
like we often have to just.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
For our piece a path to peace.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
We often have to kind of meet people where they're
at and oftentimes have to you know, take all the hits,
take all the bricks being thrown at us, just to
be like, well, actually, like let me encourage you and
teach you this valuable lesson.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
And like I understand the anger.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
That comes from like watching a clip like that, because
I also experienced it when I saw it. But it's
so interesting to see the other side of that, where
like TS is so in her space and knows what
she represents, it, has understood her platform and how she
can exist and these cis black spaces that are often.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Rooted in so much ignorance.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
She knows how to show up and be able to
kind of talk about the thing that she doesn't do
it right all the time, Absolutely not, but it is
It's really interesting how it's this this superpower that we
kind of all kind of have to be able to
exist in spaces in the ways that we need.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
To well, because peace is obsolete without conflict and conflict
is not abuse. There's a wonderful book called Conflict Is
Not Abuse, and it's funny. I actually was at this
party with Lena Waith, who will be a guest in
the future on our show, and she and Cynthia were
reading the book at the same time, which was like, kid,
it's like, oh cool, you.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
Guys, you get it.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
And so many folks are afraid of conflict, not realizing
that like through the conflict is where you find the piece.
And what you and Nicole did was not shy away
from the conflict. I'm going to have that conflict, but
knowing that's not abusive or intrinsically harmful or intrinsically you know, negative,
It's actually like conversation, it's communication.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
But instead we always just want to, Oh, let's make
everyone feel good and make sure everyone feels good.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
It's not about feeling good in the moment, it's about
feeling good at the conclusion. About and that's what happened
in this case, is like, it felt terrible, we were hyped,
we were on the group chat.
Speaker 4 (49:19):
We're mad.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
But at the end of the day, we also love
Nicole Bayer. Yeah, do you know what I mean? We
also love seeing black women thrive. We also know that
we have really bad days and you know, who knows
what might happen to us or on this show or
something we might do. But like, let's lean into the conflict.
Know that that's where we find our piece. And I
think you both did that, and it's really impressive. It
(49:40):
went from and I was like reading you you sent
us one message and I was reading I was like, oh,
Nicole said a really nice message, and I was like, wait, no,
Evie wrote that.
Speaker 5 (49:48):
Yeah, no, Chatchpt wrote that. We go Chatchpt. You better
tell this bitch she can go suck it politely.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
Let me pour it a gallon of water to figure
out how to I just love.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
I just really love how like our real life situations
are really helping us like work through some things in
real time, and I hope it's helping our audience work
through some things in real time too, because there's a
lot to be angry about, and there's a lot to
drag folks about.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
But if we can have some conflict and some piece.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
Work, we better be given conflict resolution.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
All Hi, russ hr, take your beef and turn it
into a chop cheese sandwich.
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Call back, all right, we'll be back with our hike.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Hike.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
All right, y'all, welcome back. Now let's get into what
we are high key about this week. Who wants to
go first?
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Oh, oh my god, I'm just gonna get my trash
out of the way.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
So I'm high key obsessed with Love Island, USA, bitch.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
I have been needing all the things to just give
me a place of not thinking about my own life,
our thinking about the life around me. And Love Island
USA does exactly that. If you are not familiar, it's
on Peacock, it's toasted by Ariono Mattox and it's literally
these young singles going on island and they are made
(51:12):
to match with each other. I'm tired of going on
stupid dates.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Love Island find.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Me a match and whoever is like the last kind
of couples at towards the end, and like the audience
votes and says you are a favorite couple.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
You want one hundred thousand dollars that you can split.
This show is just pure mess.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Last season was like a really big season for the
show because it was like basically lightning in a bottle
and the cast got really big and famous and everyone
kind of like loved them. This season, it's a little
bit slower, but I'm still so into it.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
I just I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
About watching, you know, since folks like mates, like I'm
watching the Discovery chant.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
It's like animal Planet.
Speaker 7 (51:54):
Our couples will attempt to raise each other's heart raised
by performing sexy Don Truti.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
But it really is quite wonderful to witness in a
very like what is like the study of humans?
Speaker 1 (52:06):
What's that called humanology?
Speaker 4 (52:09):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Yeah? Anthropology? Is that?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
No?
Speaker 1 (52:11):
No, that's that's that's the story.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
That's like sociology, yeah yeah, But it gives very much
like a class of like watching how this works. And
I don't have very many straight people in my life,
and so being able to watch this all go it's
kind of crazy. I'm a little obsessed with it. I'm
not ashamed. I am high key obsessed.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
We need a David Attenborough like observe the Straight and
It's natural habitat.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah, No, there is.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
A there literally is a British like narrator on the show.
Like he like jokes about like certain situations and like
just kind of leads you into this storytelling. It's really
really great TV. No, Shay, it's awful, but it's great.
I want everyone to watch, and if you are watching,
maybe we should talk about it more on our Patreon.
You should totally so we can deep dive. I have
(53:01):
a lot of things to talk about. I'll watch too,
just so we can deep dive on page.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
I mean you gotta. We're already like eight episodes in.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
There's like four episodes a week that come out, Like
it's pretty the schedule is insane.
Speaker 5 (53:12):
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 7 (53:12):
She's like Big Brother's style, where they're just always watching
these pieces.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
It's happening right now, like it's not it's pre recorded,
but it's like the day before, you know, Like it's
like our podcast basically just like our podcast is Love Island.
Speaker 3 (53:26):
Except none of us are getting one hundred thousand dollars.
Not yet, it's not unless you subscribe to our patreon.
Speaker 7 (53:35):
Every time you subscribe to our Patreon, you give a
black weird one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (53:44):
Look at their us.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
Hi, I'm Sarah McLaughlin. Will you be an angel for
a helpless animal.
Speaker 4 (53:51):
With your gift of just twelve dollars a month? You
two can?
Speaker 5 (53:54):
We can give them my mother.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Over here, My dog is taking up she's ruining my
couch as we speak.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Actually sit down.
Speaker 3 (54:01):
See that's why we need your five dollars. Please subscribe.
I'll go next this week. I'm high key obsessed with
gender affirming haircut videos on the internet.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
To get you off TikTok.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
Found out about.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
TikTok okay, So this is actually amazing. There's like two
that I follow. One is in Rhode Island, this queer barber.
The other is in Portland, of course that's where they are.
And basically what happens is like you get to see
these queers come and like talk about the negative experiences
they've had trying to get their hair done in a
gender affirming way, and you learn their pronouns and you
(54:36):
hear what they want and then you get to see
the transformations.
Speaker 7 (54:39):
I want to get it up great.
Speaker 6 (54:41):
I don't know if you want to mention I'm trying
to look like a little clearer Okay, yeah, I don't know,
like a mullet that telegraphs like I'm not just some guys.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Speaking of like when we pop off, my aries moon
will pop off like Ryan was talking about. But my
cancer son just wants to cry. And so I just
watched these in cry and like, I love the transformation.
And when you see the little queer and they're like,
oh my god, I look like I live in Brooklyn,
and it's like, yeah you do, Yeah you do.
Speaker 4 (55:06):
You look like my neighbor.
Speaker 1 (55:07):
I know a kleenex hates to see you coming.
Speaker 4 (55:10):
Oh yeah, that's therapist.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Wow, what are you haking about?
Speaker 7 (55:18):
The biggest one right now is probably gotta be dying
for sex.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Like it's just such a good you're still watching it.
I'm still watching it. Second week of this being it's
still so good.
Speaker 5 (55:30):
It's making me reflect. But that's why it only gets
a half of my love.
Speaker 7 (55:34):
Okay, because like I already told you all about it,
so let me tell you all about Yeah, we need
a poly obsessed here, who's your third?
Speaker 5 (55:40):
Oh my god?
Speaker 7 (55:41):
Okay, So my other current obsession right now is actually
Miley Cyrus's newest album, Something Beautiful.
Speaker 5 (55:50):
I think it's such an interesting project.
Speaker 6 (55:53):
Something Beautiful right now I feel is much bigger than
the project that we've created. It's about really using art
as a medicine to attempt to heal a sick culture
that I think all of us have been feeling.
Speaker 7 (56:05):
She's kind of given me what Gaga told us she
was going to give us and all the press beforehand, like, yes,
it's going to be duncey and dark and gay, which ultimately.
Speaker 4 (56:16):
This album not dancy and gay totally.
Speaker 7 (56:18):
Well, it was dancy and gay, but she also said
there was going to be a lot of these like
Deeper Techno, ed m Johman, the House nes that.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
Disease.
Speaker 7 (56:29):
Girl, you can't give me the two singles that you're
already selling and be like, yeah, there's a lot of this.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
What about this?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Zombie Boys Boys Disco, Yeah, it's a great one.
Speaker 3 (56:40):
Garden of Eden, Mama Gaga, we love you. Don't listen
to Evie what a she shut the fuck up. I
don't love you, Gaga, I really love you. Stop it
really love you production.
Speaker 7 (56:51):
Cut that shit out, no no, no, but really, what
I enjoy about Miley's album is that there's so many
weird risks that she's taking and it it just makes
it like visual, not visually orally all urally.
Speaker 5 (57:07):
Audibly it's orally no no, no, no, no, no no no,
I'm saying the oral au A R A.
Speaker 7 (57:15):
I'm not going to do this spelling or are you
talking about your mouth like oral O R A L no,
or there's there's orally still still referring to your ears. Okay,
I need somebody to come up. Yeah yeah, but orally interesting.
I like the way it tastes in my mouth ears.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Oh yes. Orally means relating to hearing or the ear.
It's an adverb.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Uhould describe something that affects or it's perceived through the
sense of ear.
Speaker 4 (57:46):
Okay, but the bitch was used incorrectly, But we don't
have to go there.
Speaker 5 (57:51):
I want you sorry, and I want to.
Speaker 4 (57:55):
Modifies the verb and you.
Speaker 1 (57:58):
Wait a second.
Speaker 2 (57:59):
The new music, this is the sentence that they give
the new musical was visually an orally appealing because it's modifying.
Speaker 7 (58:07):
So if a bitch got to finish her original sentence,
it was. I think it was very orally interesting and
orally interesting because not all of the choices were about
sounding the best. Like, I think Miley's voice has really
grown into its own. She knows what she's capable of,
(58:28):
she knows what she really thrives in, and she's got
a really good, like rock and roll voice, and she
did not let that stop her from making this like esoteric,
like transcendental, like vibe dance gay pop album.
Speaker 6 (58:45):
On a scale of one to ten, how gay is
this album?
Speaker 1 (58:49):
Infinite?
Speaker 7 (58:49):
I'm into all sorts of divas leaning into things that
they're passionate about, even if the world tells you, no,
that's not for you, that's not what you should be doing.
So I'm hikey all about Miley.
Speaker 4 (59:00):
This is the real Miley. Yeah, this is the real Miley.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
Like this, I mean, this is her best work because
you know, like when she came out because Eve, you
talked a little bit of shit about when she came
out with Bangers and like she was trying too much.
This was actually, like, you're in your thirties, this is
what I want to make. This is how I want
to sound. It quite literally, is how she wants to sound.
She has a poll up on her vocal cord and
that's what causes her signature voice, and she was talking
about that in an interview.
Speaker 4 (59:24):
I want Miley on this show, I really did.
Speaker 1 (59:26):
I think she would totally do it.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
And I also wish I would have changed my high
key too, because I mind was going to be music related.
But I feel like I'm also high key obsessed with
Adison Ray.
Speaker 1 (59:37):
I can't, I can't, I can't, and I will not
let y'all judge me. Here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (59:41):
Maybe you shouldn't said anything.
Speaker 1 (59:43):
No, you will not judge me.
Speaker 2 (59:45):
This is this is it. Addison Ray's new album just
dropped on June sixth, and it's honestly quite very good,
her debut album.
Speaker 1 (59:55):
She's it's just Addison.
Speaker 2 (59:56):
She's dropping the Ray and I know we all hate
her and she gave and eck because of the tech
took of it all. But it's really been interesting to
hear her in interviews. She did the New York Times podcast,
she did her Zaying Low interview.
Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
I couldn't stop because I was like, well, what if
people forget about me?
Speaker 7 (01:00:12):
What if they don't care? I'm actually telling.
Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
People that the work is disposable and that the work
is not worth.
Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
Thinking about for longer than ten seconds, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
And she's really been kind of talking about her journey
to this point, and I think it's it really is
reflective of what this album is, and I think she's
hungry for it. And I don't know if we necessarily
have had recently a pop girlie who is like doing
her own thing. But then also you can tell is
(01:00:39):
really wanting to grow, which is why I think she's
getting all the support she's getting from all of her
contemporaries around her being like, oh, actually, she knows what
she's doing. I've been in writing sessions with her. She
kind of really gets in is trying to strive for something,
and I'm I'm all for it. I posted about it
and I was like, wait, when did I become an
Addison Ray fan? Like that's kind at because I felt
(01:01:00):
like she was a plant for the long.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
You're not an Addison Ray fan. You're an Addison fan.
I'm an Addison fan.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
I'm not gonna hate on you for being an Addison fan.
I don't know she's great, but if you're out here
telling us we have to give her a shot.
Speaker 7 (01:01:12):
I think what we all need to do is give
everything a cute little sit down. Go to our Patreon,
follow our little culture club, and have a nice listen
through of Addison Ray's album after We also watched the
entire series of Overcompensating together because I know none of
us wanted to.
Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I don't want.
Speaker 7 (01:01:32):
No, we will not be Yeah, but you know what,
My my roommate and my husband both like made me
watch the first episode, and I'm convinced we're gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
I want to watch the new like adult girls, Oh
adult I adult Oh it Tale.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
I want him on the show.
Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
I want to be on that show.
Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
I love love that show so much. It's so so good.
Speaker 5 (01:01:53):
I am trudy. I don't Yeah, I personally don't usually
describe it like that. I usually say like fluid mostly,
but I yeah, I am a fruitcake.
Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Are you lying to me right now?
Speaker 5 (01:02:01):
No, sir, you quit baiting me?
Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
Weird baiting?
Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
No, what is the spectrum of your language?
Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Also, I would write for that show if anyone's listening,
like I want I love that show.
Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
It's really fun, it's great.
Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
It's it's the perfect combination of millennial and gen z humor,
exactly like it's stay really really nailed it, and I'm obsessed.
Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
I wrote a pilot like that, but minding get picked
up whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
O god, oh my god, this is why Icky has
just been reflecting on the things that did.
Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
That didn't get made. Yeah, there we go and pitching
them out.
Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Oh my god, I do that. Another great show, huh Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Where.
Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
I love when we just get to sit and talk
and have a conversation. It'll be nice to have a
guest probably, I think next week, and we'll have many more.
Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
But I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
I love when we can just I feel like we
actually had a conversation where I'm like, wow, I have
a lot more to go think about.
Speaker 4 (01:02:45):
Which is those are the best ones?
Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
And just all I'm saying is whatever I said earlier,
just remember me different, Like this is a judge free zone.
We are all talking about very vulnerable things and our
experiences and no, we're not always going to make the
right decision, but you know, this is where we can
talk about it, and I hope we aren't judge and
if we are, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
Oh yeah, and Nicole Byer, if you would like to
come on our show, You're no longer banned, so.
Speaker 5 (01:03:11):
Yeah, we lifted our twenty four hour band we had well.
Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Thanks for listening and as always, stay messy, stay obsessed,
and stay hi key.
Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Na's your high Key, lov and the vibes. Come hang
with us on Patreon. We're giving you bonus content behind
the scenes, tea group chats. Basically, that's where you'll find
the high Key. Key hi Key is a production of
iHeart Podcasts as part of the Outspoken Network. This show
is created and executive produced by Pano, Keith Ryan, Mitchell,
P v Oddley and Spoke Media.
Speaker 7 (01:03:44):
Our showrunner is Tyler Green. Our producers are Jenna Burnett
and Tess Ryan. Our video lead is Bo Delmore, and
our audio engineer is Sammy Syris. Executive producers for Spoke
Media are Travis Slamont Ballinger and Aleah Tavicollian.
Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
Our iHeart team is Jes Crime Chitch and Sierra Kaiser.
Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Our theme music is by Kayan Hersey and our show
art is by Work by Work with photography by Eric Harter.
Speaker 4 (01:04:06):
Our marketing leader is Jerome Ware from Shorefire Media.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.