March 5, 2025 • 49 mins
Houston, we have a... very sexy problem! In part 2 of out intergalactic sexploration with the legendary Dr. Sonjia Kenya, we're getting down and dirty with the real tea on all things intimacy. Ever heard of a fluffer in the adult film industry? Oh, you will. We're busting the biggest sex myths, questioning why young people are having less ex, and taling about why family structures need a spicy little revamp. Plus, Dr. K drops knowledge on how to keep your "rocket" in top shape, the yoga moves that can take your pleasure to another dimension, the best natural ways to keep things comfy between the sheets, and why champagne, mints, and ice might be your new best friends.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If they just put that on repeat, this little minutes
that we talked about, they'd be like, I'm horny. If
a porn star is actually attracted to their co star,
they are not allowed to perform together because it's a
paid directed scene. They don't need to see real intimacy.
They need you to be leg up as down ejaculate.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Now right, there's nothing scarier than approaching a scary world
without your parents on your side.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
When they tell me about their big penis, I'm like,
how makes your tongue?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Now? I feel like women or people are more empowered
to find themselves before committing to something like marriage, so
that we can have conversations with your spouse, like, hey,
this year, why don't you try putting your balls in
my ass? That might work.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Vibrators cannot replace a partner, and a partner cannot replace
a vibrator, so they're not.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
So put them together.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Juicy.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
No, really, that's I'm going to tell all my friends.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Okay, guys, we literally had to share more of this
amazing conversation with you. Guys, if you haven't heard last
week's episode, you need to go and do so now
because we are with the incredible doctor k which is
my new name for her, because I know that's not
her name, but that's what she wants.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
To be called, so she deserves.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we are talking about sex. We were talking about
sexual health, and we are asking all of our burning
questions and she is giving us incredible information that honestly,
already in sitting here talking to her has helped me
in thought, made me open my mind and think a
lot of things. So get ready. But anyway, we are
(01:56):
back on the couch. Unfortunately for the last installment of
this amazing episodes with doctor k.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well, we left off sort of talking about how the
technological advancements in the world have started to impact our lives,
our relationships. We don't go to a bar or a
party and meet people all the time anymore. We have
so many dating websites and dating apps and honestly, like Instagram, dms,
I think has become its own unofficial me.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Well, I met you first, and then you didn't even
say a word to me. You just looked at me
and you.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Did That's how she was like me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
She was.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Literally she was doing.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
It was something I don't think I was like as
refined as this, but I was doing a version I
was doing a version of it for sure.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I was like, you me bed now.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
She was like, oh my gosh, okay.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
But something we hear a lot about.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I actually was introduced to sex for the first time
when I was eight, when my friend came over to
me and was like, look at this.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And I was like, we can't watch this right now.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But we had a sleepover plant anyway, and we sat
in front of the TV and I essentially watched my
first porn video. I don't know enough, and I feel
like we all don't know enough about how pornography can
either positively or negatively impact our relationship to sex.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Would you share all.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That That is a critically important subject to talk about
these days, because too many children and adults are learning
about sex through porn. And what we forget, what so
many people forget, is that the people who star in
porn are paid actors.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
They are a paid actor.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And I have interviewed many porn stars, and do you
know that if a porn star is actually attracted to
their costar, or if two porn stars are a couple,
they are not allowed to perform together because it's a
paid directed scene. They don't need to see real intimacy.
(03:58):
They need you to be leg up as down ejaculate.
Now it's a very it's a directed scene. Say, if
you're passionate or emotional or real, it doesn't work. What
happens important scenes often is in order to keep the
actress stimulated for the scene, they will call cut, go
(04:21):
over to their respective corners and there's fluffers there.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Fluffers are there to keep the actors.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Stimulated and turned fluff a.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Person who was there to turn this person on before
they go off back into the scene.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
So the actor goes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
To their to their corner, a fluffer will do their
job to get them stimulated and then they go back
into act.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
So I have never met a woman.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Who was like, oh my god, I just really want
five guys to ejaculate on my face.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Her I just never met. I've just not met that person.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
And if you're listening, please, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Really even exists.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
There's even I think a porn star recently she did
like one hundred men.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
It was more it was like a thousand.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
It was something. It was she's working up to a thousand,
or she's doing something like that. It's something so crazy.
She's like I'm not that star her.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
She even talks about it's not pleasurable for her, and
I actually it just makes me mad actually because I
get sex should be like ice cream, like.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
The cherry on top.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
There's so much pleasure that we can derive in it,
and it drives me nuts in this country that the
only way that we talk about it is from like
a violence.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Perspective someone's been raped, or someone's.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Been traumatized, or someone's been abused, or an objectification perspective,
and like grabb Her by the pussy perspective, you.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Know, we only are like, oh.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there's like there's the porn star and there's a
girl who got raped. But what about the regular people,
about the maverage, the average Yeah, the average people in
the middle. So I think what's happened now? So, one,
we shouldn't be learning about sexual development or sexual relationships
through porn because it gives people the wrong visual imagery
(06:15):
of what the entire experience is going to be about.
And what it's caused is a lot of sexual dysfunction.
So we we have this term we call p I
N or p I E and porn induced rectile dysfunction.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
So because men have become addicted to porn ess and
she's just too easy to get. And now we have
the d v R forget it, and it's like, what
woman is gonna I mean, there's robots right now, even
sex robots will talk to you, who will who feel
warm and can become lubricated and are never going to
(06:49):
disagree with you or have a difference of opinion or
tell you what she likes. But you know, so I
think it's really really important that we learn about sex
one from an intellectual and anatomical perspective.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
I teach.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
One of the classes I teach is like how to
be an oral achiever, and we actually go over the
anatomy you know, of a male and a female and
look at what it looks like and which parts can
and might be sensitive or you know, can be stimulated
in what parts that aren't traditional erogena zones are things
(07:30):
that we.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Might have thought about but might be.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And so I think though it's much more valuable to
have conversations and to be able to develop this intellectual
connection with a potential partner so you can also evolve
together because often I think a big challenge is also
in long term relationships. What turns you on five years
ago might not be the same thing that turns you
(07:58):
on today.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
And I think we really underestimate the need to evolve.
And if you think about anything with health, it's like
we don't you know, when I was a teenager, they
were like, we gotta step eating all the fat.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
The fat is gonna kill them.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Just started eating cards bread because bread has no fat, right,
And what it did is it made an obese society.
We actually were not obese before they told us that.
And then everyone just started eating non fat stuff, pasta,
all this pasta, all these cards that just turned into sugar,
and that just made us all obese.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Like you know, So as.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We evolve and as we learn more, it's the same
like our workout routine. You know, everyone used to do
aerobic you know, Jane Fonder.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Now we know we have to lift weights right now,
we know that yoga. We also need more flexibility, and
we know we.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Can't smoke a we're press exact.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Isn't it funny though, that we don't think sex evolves,
Like we're just like, oh, I know how to have
sex now, so I'll just be like this, I ate
and I've had sex, So what when you're eighty, you're
going to be just the same.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You're never going to learn and reading.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So I think that porn is not education, but porn
can sometimes be useful for couples as a stimulation. Of course, yes, exactly.
That was very good, very very good as and you
know there's books. I remember once when I first got married,
(09:26):
I had a you know, an erotic book. You know,
you can get a personalized erotic book, so I know
it was with my name, you know, and then read
to them before bed.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
The only erotic book I want to read is yours.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
For real?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
What what do you think is like the most common
myths about sex?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
That we know what we're doing, that wow, we're doing. Yeah,
we know what we're doing. And you know, I always
love that guy like I'm so good, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
God, why that's a lesbian? I cannot tell you the
amount of time and mind you. I came out when
I was really young, against my own will. Really my
dad read my phone, but I was fourteen. You were
like you were twenty two. Uh huh when you came out?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well yeah, I mean like I came out with you.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, my whole life to this day, men will tell
me you're gay. That's because you haven't been with me.
There's no way you believe that, you really believe.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
That you're not a lesbian because you haven't had sex
with me.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh I've heard that too.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You could just be like thinking my delicious posting you're obviously.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Because I know you're like so big.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That is like you really just dismantle and you sold
all my angers for real When.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
They tell me about their big penis, I'm like, how
makes your tongue? And the great thing about the tongue
is you know, we have more muscles in our tongue
than any other part of our body.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And also, don't we stop feeling at some point or
get tired vagina?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Yeah, feeling you can get your cervix.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Well, you can get so excited, you've you've felt that,
you can have so many like climax like you're like
in Mayan space or oh, I.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Mean like if your peen is past a certain size,
isn't it a relevant Well.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
We want to know, yes, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Just interviewed last week the man with the largest medically
verified penis.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
It is fourteen points old.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
The documentary that's sad because nobody wis.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Says him, Yes, nobody wants fourteen point five inches in length,
eight and a half inches in girl.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Guy, poor guy, I'd be afraid of that. No, everyone's afraid.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And he's never going to get that all into somebody experience.
The girl ends up in the hospital. Yeah, and just
a little terrors. He's like, I'm like, poor god, you know,
so he's he said ironically, I asked about his tongue
that ironically have a very small time.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Maybet the dick off put it on the mouth and
then you're good, You got.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Wow, that guy, that's not They can't be easy. There
has to be to find the woman with like the
widest opening vaginas.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh maybe that's his perfect much.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Right, the one who's doing the thousand men. Maybe, oh yeah,
she's gonna be ready to take. But he doesn't want
to get involved in porn or anything like that. And
he doesn't, you know, And he's actually said he can
engage in whole relationships without having intercourse because he's it's
a relationship, you know, he you know, they can go yeah, yeah,
(12:39):
and you know, I wanted to compliment your parents. That's
really because I don't know you very well, but you
seem like such a generous heart and such an authentic person,
and it gives the vibes that you were very accepted
and loved, you know, and I.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Not at first, not at first, but afterwards, yes, yeah, yeah,
And now it's I think every parent, especially for me
at fourteen, this is like before marriage was the gay
marriage was legalized. I think that my parents were afraid
for me, right, And I don't blame them. I've never
been a parent, and I can't imagine what they might
(13:17):
have felt.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
In that moment.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They were just trying to protect me from like the
very scary world, right. And luckily it's that experience has
allowed me to share with others and we've even had
a conversation about it on the podcast where my biggest
advice to a parent who their child might be experimenting
sexually with the same gender or you know, doing things
that they maybe didn't expect their child to do in
(13:39):
terms of relationships, is there's nothing scarier than approaching a
scary world without.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Your parents on your side.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So, yeah, but they had a couple of months to
my parents your.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Point, That's that's why we know that people who actually
are on the LGBTQ spectrum they want and poor people
are kicked out of their homes. So we know the
rates of suicide or like quadruple the rates of substance
abuse or double. So I'm a parent, and you know,
(14:10):
it's so funny. We will jump in front of a
car and die to protect our kid. But they're like,
I'm gay, and what you kick your kid out, kick
your kid on the street and so, and it's and
you're absolutely right. We just we don't want the world
to hurt our kids. And so we were like, we
don't want any other hardships on our kids. We don't
want any So.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And also my parents generation they're still they were, I
mean they still do to this day. But then you
know they would send them to like camps conversion.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I saw that recently that happened to this This kid
posted about loving Lady Gaga and they literally send them
to a conversion companies lady Anyway. Anyway, I wanted to
(15:03):
touch upon something as well, because you talked about how
sexuality and everything changes, it evolves, right, something that we
all went through which I feel like had a big
impact on not only relationships but sex and so many
other things. I can only imagine the impact it had
on your HIV studies COVID.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
I read an article I was actually reading to Jem
recently about how the rates, again the rates that are
reported because how we're really supposed to know when people
are getting it on, but have decreased. The rate that
young people are having sex has significantly decreased. Its correct
me if I'm wrong, And I'm wondering, like why you
think that is? Did people get scared because of COVID?
(15:43):
Is the world just changing? Are the seventies finally over?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I think there's a variety of reasons. One I do
think that the increased used this is the like the
kids who are in college, how they never had life
without the internet.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
I know that's they've never known life without the internet.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Right, So a lot of their first sort of intimate
relationships kind of they may have happened with the person
they were gaming with who lives in a different state
or maybe even a different country. And it's not intimacy
physical intimacy, but the first person who they talk.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
To every day, who they shared.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
What happened at school with them wasn't often a real person,
So it's different when that you know, the person who
you see every day at school and you see them
and then you like them, and then yeah, there's a party,
and then you go over to my house after my
parents don't come home from work whatever time. So I
(16:41):
think that is one and I do think that COVID
did sort of We're not really sure how it influenced
the relational development of that generation, but I do know
some kids who are in college now, and like one
young lady, she's stunning, beautiful model, like she's in a
(17:03):
Victoria's Secret campaign. People like model, does that me have pouse?
No one ever asked me out, No one ever asked
me out. But during that fourteen fifteen sixteen, like when
you're going to proms and when you're learning those.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Things, it's like, oh, they were in their house, they're
in their.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Online school and no one, no one even knows how
to talk to each other, like as you said, in
real life.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Like and then when when.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
They first started coming over, I can remember this person's
parents were like we saw them talking on the couch
without a mask, and they got in trouble because two kids,
they needed to keep their masks on. Even when they
first started relating so I think that the there is
you are correct, this generation, the new adults aren't having
(17:47):
sex at the same rates. We'll see how that plays out.
Hopefully it leads to more educated, less unwanted sexual consequences
this type of her experiences. Hopefully that's what it leads to,
But it also could be a product of I think
(18:08):
younger people know that marriage is not the end all,
be all. Yeah your parents, My parents were like in
their by in college, They're like, I got to get married.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Yeah, I got to get married. That's you know.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I was told by my grandparents the only reason to
go to college is to find your husband.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Also, like for my mom, my mom, because a.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Woman doesn't need an education.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
My grandfather was like, you look good, why are you
going to college?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Like that?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Not only that, like my mom and my mom and
my dad are still together and they're beautiful, and I'm
so blessed to have that as an example. But she
describes her getting married as freedom, like she's like, oh,
me getting married was me freeing myself from my life,
Like that's when my life started. Whereas now I feel
like women or people are more empowered to find themselves
(18:54):
before committing to something like marriage, so that we can
have conversations like the ones you mentioned with your spouse, like, hey,
this year, I kind of like, why don't you try
putting your balls in my ass?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
That my work more substutely right, But there was a
time the only way a woman was allowed to leave
her house was to get married.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I mean, that was it.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
That we weren't even allowed to work. I mean, you
know when women started to work, that's when they made
the birth control bill. They're like, I can work, and
guess what I'm gonna you know, well, let's get this
birth control pill going so we can have sex. And
because now I can make my own money, I don't
have to stay with an abusive guy orgasms, yeah, you know,
just to get out of my dad's house, you know.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Or I can leave the abuse of God losing giving
me orgasms because now.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I'm allowed to work. So it was a way of freedom.
But now, first of all, we all know you don't
have to get married have kids, right, There's a million
different ways to have a child.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
And I do.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Think what what we're learning is, I think it's time
for us to come up with a new structure under
which for which we raise our children. A new family structure.
I think we know, even people who get married, there's
like an over fifty percent divorce rate. Marriage is not
necessarily the right structure to raise our kids. So what
if we were like just friends and we said, hey,
(20:09):
we have similar values, we have similar things. Would you
like to have a child? I mean, we're in this
for them, but where this is what we're going to
do with this child, this is what what our mutual
goals are. And then we don't break up and the
child knows both their parents love them and there's not
all this weird drop offs and holidays at someone's house.
And you know, I've heard I just heard the other day,
(20:31):
you know, from a parent going through a split. Like, no,
they don't even talk a drop off. It's like, here's
the ointment.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Horrible, my parents were divorced.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
It's horrible. Yeah, the kids see all of this.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
No, No, I can.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I can definitely share. I think that what I'm so
grateful to my mom that she didn't smight see my
grandmother felt the need to stay in her marriage. And
my grandfather is an incredible man. Can I speak upon
him as a husband. No, I've never been married to him,
but I have made observations. We're very close, and she
(21:05):
stayed in the marriage for my mom. You know, I
need to stay in the marriage for my kids. And
if there's anything that I have learned just from observing
my own family, is probably the most powerful thing you
could do for your kids to show them I'm not
going to stay in this marriage that I am not
happy in. And that's that's the best thing that I
can teach you about loving yourself. That you don't need
(21:26):
to do that and love period.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Yeah, relationships, marriages fall apart. I think the thing that
sucks is that even though you're not together, the love
should still stay alive so that you're able to love
that person in now this new way, in this new
evolved way where maybe you have a kid or maybe
you know.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right as your child's father, right, and be able to
love them in a way that is eternal and is unconditional,
because romantic love is not unconditional.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
No, no, you do something and be like, no, we
gonna have to break up. It's not.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Especially now, they'll be like too much.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I think his hair was party on the left side today.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
That's yeah, Okay, So these last few.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Years I heard you talk a lot about the fact
that you've been diving into your research. Correct, yes, yes,
and going to your son's basketball games. But I was
a basketball players, so opposition the point guard.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Yes he is, Yeah, I know, and he's very very.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Like you make that assumption, you know what I'm thinking,
I'm a basketball player.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Guard runs the guard runs the floor. They're like a dancer.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
They're also are the shortest person with the biggest ego.
But my senate, but he does play a year or
two up. There always the baby. So the parents like,
he's gonna grow and I'm I'm like, it's okay, I
know because he's two years younger than.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
He's ripping up around anybody. So what have you been
dedicating these last few years your research to have you
found anything out that you wanted to share with us.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So what we're doing right now is I'm actually trying
to transition. I run the largest street based sexual wellness
clinic because what we've learned is that a lot of people,
the people who suffer from most sex problems, don't feel
comfortable interfacing with the healthcare system. It's always a pain
in the butt to go to the doctors of the hospital.
Then you got to wait, and you need ID and insurance.
(23:31):
So our mode of intervention has always been hiring people
from the communities that have the biggest problems. We bring
them into our academic hospital, We train them in HIV
other STIs how they work in your body, and then
we train them how the medications work. Then we teach
them how to navigate the whole healthcare system, and then
(23:52):
we actually just say all right, go and their job
is to walk around the neighborhoods where they're from and
ask and say things like, hey, did you know you
can have sex without a condom and not get HIV?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
And people are like, what what?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And then that's there, that's okay, here's some condoms, here's
some moods. Let me tell you about what's going on,
and and people then they it's their opportunity to educate
them about PREP and about PEP, which you can take
up to seventy two hours after you've been at risk
to prevent HIV infection. And then there's also like m
(24:26):
PREP and PEP now, which are for all the non
HIV STI which are available. So basically people can say,
really healthy sexually, now, I don't even know that, and
so our team of community health workers canvases the streets
of Miami and does this in a way that's like, oh,
right now in your car, Okay, you need to get
high first.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Okay, you go get high. I'll wait here.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Okay, now, okay, understanding the needs, understanding.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Need and oh you want to be at the rec center. Okay,
you might not have a home. And then let's say
I do a rapid HIV test, And the way we
do it is with an oral mucosal kit.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
So it's like a Q tip that.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
We run along your gumps and then we stick it
in a solution and it tells us basically your HIV
status in a couple of minutes. But then if you're so,
if you're positive, you need a confirmatory test, and obviously.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
You need treatment.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So then I'm gonna hold your hand and I'm gonna
actually take you to the clinic, gonna we're gonna do
the confirmatory test. You're gonna leave with thirty days of medication.
While we're waiting for the confirmatory test to come back,
and regardless of the results of whether you are diagnosed
with HIV or whether the confirmatory test had something else,
we know that you're still at risk because of your
(25:42):
lifestyle behaviors, and so then our goal is to get
you either adherent to your HIV medications or hooked up
with like our PREP mobile clinic. Wow, so then we'll
take you to PREP. So then you can still be
out there doing your life with no judgment. We are
a sex positive team. We don't care what you did
last night as long as you were protected and didn't
(26:04):
give someone anything else and it was consensual. Yeah, and
then we get you hooked up with PREPS so that
you never contract HIV and then you actually know about
these really accessible resources in your community that you may
not have known about from before. So we've shown that
that modality is actually so effective. We used to do
(26:25):
research on it, but then it was adopted by the
Department of Health in Florida, So now this is just
a standardized public health service. And that's the whole of
RESEARCHANGE is to say like, hey, this works, and then
work on policy changes to make sure it's a policy.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Is there any way that we can help or listeners
out there can either spread the word or donate or hell,
can we help that?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Well, you can go to CHAMP three oh five on
Instagram and TikTok and all of that. And we also
have now expanded our work also to the US Virgin Islands, Oh.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Wow, which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It's one of the US territories that suffers from a
health as from health professional shortages, so it's a designated
health professional shortage area. So even though it's paradise, they
definitely don't have enough providers to take care of the population.
And one of my first trainees ever is the chief
medical officer there now, so it's a really fun project.
(27:17):
It's like a full circle thing. So I do spend
the summer there now and we do our work there,
and now we're really focused on looking at what natural
because we have a new administration that controls research funding
in the nation. So I've traditionally focused on the populations
that really need help, like minorities and women, but we
(27:38):
don't want to say those words. I'm actually a white
man from Minnesota. I know I don't look like too.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
By the way, I'm only six to two. But how
big is your tongue?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You on mail in the room is like, I know, no, yeah,
ninety six percent of men or five inches or less
wally reck Wow.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
So I know you're part of that.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I know everyone Wow, ninety six percent or five inches
or less, twenty wrecked, I know, and so every man will.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
I am so happy to hear that, and if it's cold.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But we're really looking at yeah, natural modalities. People are
getting postmenopause, I mean post yes, postmenopausal, perimenopausal, menopausal, but
postpartum women.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Who have just had babies is a big thing.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Women who have bad PMS, people with diabetes. I wrote
one of the only papers looking at women with diabetes
and how diabetes affects women's sexual experiences. You know, women
with diabetes have less sexual satisfaction, produce less lubrication, have
more sexual pain. And we've shown things like yoga can
actually reduce sexual pain.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Like women who have pelvic pain.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
It's like twenty nine percent of women have pelvic pain
during sexual intercourse. It's a huge percentage chronic pelvic pain.
But there's natural interventions like yoga, things like that that
you can actually do. There's also the Mona Lisa laser,
which is an at lunch non hormonal procedure, which is
(29:17):
really great for women who have survived breast or ovarian cancer.
And you know what's happening a younger ages now, and
they don't want hormonal treatments. There's the O shot, which
is just like extracting your own blood and extracting the
platelet rich plasma and then checking it back in to
(29:40):
like rejuvenate your volva, vaginal walls, and your cellular production.
So there's a lot of non hormonal, sort of really
naturalesque treatments out there that people don't know about that
are not pushed by our healthcare system. And the reality
is another paper I published recently was what are doctors
(30:02):
learning about sex?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
What are future doctors learning about sex?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
And we talk about all doctors just like ninety eight
percent of doctors feel underprepared to address sexual health concerns.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Pass that's so unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
So we really really have to work on getting this
type of education out there, because you know, if someone
has heart disease, diabetes, press cancer, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer,
survivor HIV, everybody needs to know how do I access
more sensual pleasure? And I think, I mean, I know,
(30:36):
I'm gonna say yoga again, but yoga Yoga's even been
able to people living with HIV it improves their immune heal.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
How many times have people been like, oh, Keegel's keegels,
this that whatever. It's so funny that people have like
such little of course, but it's like such a limited thing.
How can you think that something like that can work?
And then when you engage that part of your body
in a million other ways, like your hips, Like how
many people literally move their hips in a way that's
not walking most day you think, all of a sudden,
(31:02):
you're gonna move your body in a different way. It's
not gonna hurt, Like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Absolutely, when you're doing bridge, Next time you're doing bridge,
like in yoga, you know you're moving your hips and
your pelp up squeeze male female in between, squeeze all
your openings, release, squeeze, and remember your chakras. Your root
chakra is right between your legs, and that's our center
of trust. And so when we don't trust ourselves the
(31:28):
person we're having sex with, we're not gonna have great sex.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Right and then right above our root.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Chakra is our sacral chakra, and that's our lower abdominal area.
That is our center of pleasure. And I think I
tell people we want to work on our abs because
we want to get in touch with our sacral chakra.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
We want to get in touch with our pleasure center.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
It's okay to laugh, tering sex, it's okay to fall
off the bed. Things are silly and messy, you know.
And then we can move up to our solar plexus chakra.
And you know, this is like our So we've all
done something that we didn't want to do, maybe romantically
or sexually, and our gut is in complete disagreement with us.
Our stomach is like no, don't do it, don't say it,
(32:09):
and we're gonna do it, and we do it anyway,
and it's like, get that in line with your divine
you know, sensual expression and learning, and these are some
things that breathing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Breathing, I mean.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And right above your soul, your heart chakra, write, your throat.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Chakra, say what you got to say.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Being able to even like moan or say sounds.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
You know.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So there are these.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Natural ways that people can really enhance. There's sexual pleasure,
there's sexual functioning. Earlier or episode one, you would ask,
what's one thing people can do?
Speaker 4 (32:43):
And I think, just like right now just listening.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
If they just put that on repeat, this little five
minutes that we talked about.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
They'd be like I'm horny.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Or at least want to explore and make them curious
enough to move your body like that, move that kind
of energy through your body. I think it's super important.
It's not talked about enough. And I think that you
should make the next best selling app and cut us
in twenty percent.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Absolutely, now we will.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You will have to cut us in, but we will
help you promote for.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
She's never going to cut us in.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
But and then we need them to fund some research
studies on it.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Yeah, that's the thing. That's one thing I said I want.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yes, can you do something good?
Speaker 4 (33:22):
God, damn it, do something good?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yes, an electric you know, charge solar chargeable vibrator.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Vibration that works in space.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Just does this exist that Let's say like you have
a long distance relationship and like I have, like the
remote to a vibrator does exist?
Speaker 4 (33:45):
It does like a yeah, so I do yees?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So there is So it's Valentine's Day. Yes, so great gift.
I actually love that one. There is that once she
would put it in her So I this is how
I suggest you do. Okay, So if you go out
to dinner with your partner, you give them a little
box and you're like, here, honey, I got you a gift,
and you're open and you're like, okay, now go to
the bathroom, and then they put it into their panties. Basically,
(34:09):
it's a little vibrator that goes into their panties, but
you have the remote to it.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
So they come back to the table and you start
pressing it and they're like, and.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Who's going to bail us out of jail?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
We have.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
The waitress, you know, the server comes to your table giggling,
and so that definitely exists.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
Wow there with you.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And there's also some long distance apps that you can
use on your phone, so like if your partners in
a different city or a state geographically, you can mail them.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Something that you could control with your phone.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Your long distance relationships. Yes, that's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
They thought of everything. And of course, well, yeah, you're
right right, you're so here we are with doctor Kinsey
in the sixties.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
I'm not over I'm not over that. Oh my god
already because to now you're going to be hearing a
lot more poorn documentaries. I need to go back to
the drawing.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I have a lot to learn, So obviously I I
think I know how you're going to respond to this,
but just I would love to touch upon it. Sexual
(35:31):
aids like a vibrator. Okay, so which ones or any
I guess any except likes to please yourself, adults or
your partners the term adults.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, adult toys, Yeah, whatever you want to you know, pleasure.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
Whatever, any weapons of mass pleasure.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Remember that vibrators cannot replace a partner, and a partner
cannot replace a vibrator, so they're not so put them
together and you There are couples vibrators too that you
can use. Most of them are for heterosexual couples because it's.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Going to be an insertive. Yeah, that's it experience.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
But I think that they're great, and I think that
it's really important for women to achieve optimal pleasure, to
learn how to please themselves. So if you are a
woman and you do not own a toy to please yourself,
spend twenty five dollars right now and go on to
(36:33):
a website. I don't want to promote anyone in particular,
and get yourself wanted. If that's not the right one,
then you'll spend twenty five dollars trying something else. There
are like clit suckers.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Yeah, we talk about it amongst our friends. We share
recommendation and.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Fifty dollars on a good one because there are a
lot that are made by physicians now engineers, and there's
also there's there's super you know, there's lower cost ones
and the higher end ones. You don't necessarily need the
highest and one you want to try to make sure
it's safe, meaning non toxic dyes and all of that,
(37:15):
all of it. And also you want to make sure
always that if you are sex toys are not meant
to be changed with partner, not meant to be used.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
With multiple partners.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
But if you are, you want to make sure you're
washing it with soap and water. And you can also
use condoms with your toys, and we want to use
different types of lubricant. You want to try to use
a water based lubricant, and the reason why we don't
want to use silicone lubricants, which are really great, but
they can deteriorate condoms or so you want to use
(37:50):
a water based lubricant with your toys and with condoms
because silicone can also mess with your toys. But I
do think it's really great for women to learn how
to please themselves, especially before you go on a date,
because then you're giving yourself that mojo. You can do
hormones a secret sauce, and you go on that date
(38:11):
and you've already you know, had an orgasm and you're thinking,
my juicy delicious.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I call it sugar box, like my sugar bars, because
I think that's something that I like. It's like a
nice you know, my grandmother.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
An Outlander that the JB.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But definitely, and there's male sex toys too, which are
really important, like that they can insert their penis into
and that's.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
A flesh warm and all of that.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
If anyone out there is pregnant, breastfeeding and sexual desire
or mortal enemies, they do.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Not go together. So if you're planning.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Your breastfeeds your child, then you want to make sure
if you have a male partner, that they are prepared.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
To have less sex during the time. That's so important.
Nobody everyone tells you.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So basically, the same hormones that allow you or empower
you to be able to feed your baby are the
hormones that regulate sexual desire.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
Wow, so you got it. You got to pick one.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's like Yes, there's always going to be the zebra
without stripes. There's the one woman who wants to breastfeed
and have sex with the exact same time. Yeah, I
mean like I've never met her, but you're looking to
meet a lot of really interesting It is really important
when you're thinking about breastfeeding your child, which I highly recommend.
I did it for a year. My kid has never
(39:39):
had one sick date. It is low and I'm like, wow,
was that really it?
Speaker 3 (39:44):
You've got a badass mom, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
But it's important for us to know that going in
so that we're prepared for also that happy and you're
not feeling all stressed out, like I'm not giving, like
I'm not pleasing my husband and he's not thinking why
aren't you sleeping with me?
Speaker 3 (39:59):
It's going to be my life now because we just
had a baby.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Right that. Everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Information really can be power, And unfortunately no doctor ever
tells you this.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
When I was pregnant, actually every.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Time I went for an EXAMBI would be like, will
you please hold office hours here?
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Will you please hold.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Off up about what's going on? And also when you're pregnant,
you're super horny. It's like the opposite. Yeah, you're like,
oh my god, I need to get pregnant again. While
I'm pregnant.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Can you put another woman this pace for two?
Speaker 2 (40:30):
That's so incredible.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I'd never heard that, Just like recently I found out
the internet can be so so scary but so good
for certain things. That it really is up to the
health of a man, what kind of pregnancy a woman
is going to have, And I'm like.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
What not fair?
Speaker 5 (40:45):
Yeah, not fair.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
There's a lot of things that are unfair. If they
had to bleed, and they had to go through menopause,
they had to go all the thing. I would love
to see guys pean bleed once a month, that's it.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
They want to do it.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They'd have a week off every month, a week off
reason oh.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
My I can't come in.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Every man gets seven days off a month.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
And it doesn't have to be any the regular seven days.
It could be any seven days that because he's a
regular this month, because I'm stressed out us we're regular.
You have no idea. The fight I had to do
to get the medical school to put female hygiene female
mentual products in the bathrooms, I mean it was like
a six year fight, and they were like, well, can't
they monitor? And I'm like, oh, I ever seen a
(41:25):
woman's mentor cycle under excuse me?
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Are you guys doctors?
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah, we all know what a female's mentoral cycle when
she's stressed out. And nobody's more stressed out than a
female medical student. And so it was a fight, but
they're there now.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
So I'm very they really they named you appropriately if
you really are a star in your galaxy for real
and on.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
This spaceship for sure. And before we deorbit the spaceship,
I have one more question for you, but also would
be I have a question for you, or you have
my own question. Okay, you can do a question first,
but I just want to say this. You know, there's
another another person that I haven't met that I want
to exist, which is the sex person at NASA. Because
you're gonna hear in Space News, I was curious if
anybody's ever had sex in space, and I saw that
(42:11):
people were saying, oh, it's supposed to. They were worried
about how fluids run in your body, and they were
saying they could actually kill your libido. But a ton
of the males that have been in space, says that
it's the opposite and there's like space viagra and they
wake up with like these rock hard boners that are painful.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Wow, So we need to meet we haven't even really
touched that.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Actually do what I think we should do. I think
this is consistent with the new administration. Elon, we will
go to space and do this study.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Study.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
Very funny, don't you can come literally and come whenever?
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Sorry, this is what happens.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
See, we start.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Talking to her and now I'm gonna go out and
sugar box energy with everybody.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
And it's the perfect segue to my final question. Yes,
I know that there are listeners out there who have
now heard both parts of this episode, and I hope
they feel empowered and comfortable. They've laughed and they've giggled,
and they've become curious and maybe they want to go
home and they want to open the conversation. They want
to spice up their life, their sex life. What's one
(43:22):
tip that you could give them?
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Ice cubes?
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Ah, everyone's got them at home. Crush them first, so
they don't bring big old ice cubes to your bedroom.
Crush them, put them in a bowl, little temperature play. Wow,
that's it Tonight so everyone. And I know today is
Valentine's Day. I know every day in the space is
Valentine's Day and the galaxy. But I always recommend to
people who didn't plan anything for Valentine's Day, like you
(43:47):
could actually pretend like you had a whole plan. Yeah,
go get altoids ISAAA, champagne, altoids and ice. You're done
because you put a don't put the whole altoid cut
the alid.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Do not know, but no.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I once told it to a patient and it was created.
She's fourteen out towards that poor Maria burning.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
Shadow O.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I know, quarter of a quarter and it works male female,
all of that, it doesn't matter. But a little alty
can get a little extra stimulation when you're performing, or
good breath, you.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Know, oral pleasure and good breath.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Also, like if you take some champagne and you don't
swallow it, but you do your partner while the champagne
is still in your mouth kind of spill it all
over them.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Everything gets a little bubbly. It's a little bit of like.
But the best thing I think about ice is.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Everybody's got it at home. It's totally easy. You can
put a crushed thing. But your partner may not even
notice the cup or the bowl there.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
You know, you put a little bit of fries.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yes, in your you know, in the side of your mouth,
you hide it in your cheek. You go down a
little temperture and it doesn't have to be you know,
you're performing oral pleasure sex on them. You can do
it on their inner thigh, do it on their outer thigh,
do it on the back of their knee. You know,
what about the inside of the elbow, what about on
their rib cage? What about where they're you know, where
(45:12):
the bottom of their butt meets the top of their thigh,
you know, in the back, that little crease between their
butt and their thigh, a little ice cube, and then
put it back in.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Then some hot breath, oh cold? How super easy? Free?
Speaker 2 (45:29):
All right?
Speaker 4 (45:30):
God?
Speaker 3 (45:31):
My tip?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Okay, babe, what's your tip?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Okay, cheer me out? Mentos and coke?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
No is a Coca Cola?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yeah, you just squat over a coke bottom put them Yeah,
thank god.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I think it's about time for that funny little segment.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah, because doctor k is gonna run out of me.
Speaker 5 (46:02):
It was a giant shaped hole in that wall.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
All right.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Well, now we have to hear about what's actually going
on one hundred percent true. She knows now it's all
the truth. You already heard her one so now he's
going to believe me. All right, except for everybody's one
of the specialist sexy space news from all right. It
was a miracle, quote amazing tales of a dead spacecraft
(46:28):
that came back to life. This hunk of metal moved
silently through space, high above blue Earth. Power no longer
coursed through its wires. It was dead to the outside world.
But then a key astronaut in the mission remembered, all
you have to do is take out the cartridge, blow
on it, pop it back in, and boom the ship
turned right on. Oh wow, see, our young crowd's not
(46:49):
gonna get that.
Speaker 4 (46:53):
Quick.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Give me some ice cubes, okay. Scientists once questioned whether
erections would be possible in space because letting fluids shift
and redistribute through the body without gravity, well, that was
a lie. During his first morning on the Space Shuttle Discovery,
astronaut Mike Mullane woke up with a massive space boner,
claiming in his book, I had an erection so intense
(47:14):
it was painful. I could have drilled through kryptonite. Yep,
that's an image. Also in his book, he detailed a
malfunction where a random penis size hole opened in the
ship's aft, causing a near catastrophic emergency. Rand She's hip
to it now.
Speaker 5 (47:33):
Space.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh my god, I think I could talk to you
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
Literally.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
We can't thank you enough. Doc. We've been excited about
this for a long time and you've been the perfect
person to come school us for sure and make people
change their underwear out there, because that's probably having it.
Please tell people where to follow along, where to follow
you on socials, your book, your yoga, You're all incredible.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Aromatherapy oil es are destined to make you feel nice.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, now that you've taught people how to plug themselves in,
plug them.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
In to you.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
Yeah, thank you. I was for your daily dose of
nookie knowledge.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Check me out on all of the social media networks
where I'm d R s O, n Jia Doctors, Sunjaya
on Instagram, TikTok LinkedIn. My podcast is Sex and South Beach.
My book is Sex and South Beach. It's on Amazon,
and you should definitely check out my body oil it's
(48:41):
called sense Aromatherapy body oil. It's made from the es
central oils that are scientifically proven to ignite the greatest
sense of pleasure. It's a really great moisturizer, and it
also is an organic way to repel mosquitoes because being
eaten feel good.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Yes, we have nothing else to say after that. Follow
us on in our World pod. You are welcome and
happy Valentine's Day, even though it's after but we're celebrating.
Celebrate with us again. Thank you, get it on with someone.
Speaker 4 (49:15):
Thank you, doctor K.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Thank you doctor K.
Speaker 4 (49:17):
See you're next week on in.
Speaker 5 (49:18):
Our own World.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Launch.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
This podcast is brought to you by Moonflower Productions in
partnership with Iheartsmichael.
Speaker 4 (49:29):
That podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
For more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
If they just put that on repeat, this little minutes
that we talked about, they'd be like, I'm horny. If
a porn star is actually attracted to their co star,
they are not allowed to perform together because it's a
paid directed scene. They don't need to see real intimacy.
They need you to be leg up as down ejaculate.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Now right, there's nothing scarier than approaching a scary world
without your parents on your side.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
When they tell me about their big penis, I'm like,
how makes your tongue?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Now? I feel like women or people are more empowered
to find themselves before committing to something like marriage, so
that we can have conversations with your spouse, like, hey,
this year, why don't you try putting your balls in
my ass? That might work.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Vibrators cannot replace a partner, and a partner cannot replace
a vibrator, so they're not.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
So put them together.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Juicy.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
No, really, that's I'm going to tell all my friends.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Okay, guys, we literally had to share more of this
amazing conversation with you. Guys, if you haven't heard last
week's episode, you need to go and do so now
because we are with the incredible doctor k which is
my new name for her, because I know that's not
her name, but that's what she wants.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
To be called, so she deserves.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we are talking about sex. We were talking about
sexual health, and we are asking all of our burning
questions and she is giving us incredible information that honestly,
already in sitting here talking to her has helped me
in thought, made me open my mind and think a
lot of things. So get ready. But anyway, we are
(01:56):
back on the couch. Unfortunately for the last installment of
this amazing episodes with doctor k.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well, we left off sort of talking about how the
technological advancements in the world have started to impact our lives,
our relationships. We don't go to a bar or a
party and meet people all the time anymore. We have
so many dating websites and dating apps and honestly, like Instagram, dms,
I think has become its own unofficial me.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Well, I met you first, and then you didn't even
say a word to me. You just looked at me
and you.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Did That's how she was like me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
She was.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Literally she was doing.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
It was something I don't think I was like as
refined as this, but I was doing a version I
was doing a version of it for sure.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I was like, you me bed now.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
She was like, oh my gosh, okay.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
But something we hear a lot about.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I actually was introduced to sex for the first time
when I was eight, when my friend came over to
me and was like, look at this.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And I was like, we can't watch this right now.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But we had a sleepover plant anyway, and we sat
in front of the TV and I essentially watched my
first porn video. I don't know enough, and I feel
like we all don't know enough about how pornography can
either positively or negatively impact our relationship to sex.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Would you share all.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That That is a critically important subject to talk about
these days, because too many children and adults are learning
about sex through porn. And what we forget, what so
many people forget, is that the people who star in
porn are paid actors.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
They are a paid actor.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And I have interviewed many porn stars, and do you
know that if a porn star is actually attracted to
their costar, or if two porn stars are a couple,
they are not allowed to perform together because it's a
paid directed scene. They don't need to see real intimacy.
(03:58):
They need you to be leg up as down ejaculate.
Now it's a very it's a directed scene. Say, if
you're passionate or emotional or real, it doesn't work. What
happens important scenes often is in order to keep the
actress stimulated for the scene, they will call cut, go
(04:21):
over to their respective corners and there's fluffers there.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Fluffers are there to keep the actors.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Stimulated and turned fluff a.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Person who was there to turn this person on before
they go off back into the scene.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
So the actor goes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
To their to their corner, a fluffer will do their
job to get them stimulated and then they go back
into act.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
So I have never met a woman.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Who was like, oh my god, I just really want
five guys to ejaculate on my face.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Her I just never met. I've just not met that person.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
And if you're listening, please, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Really even exists.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
There's even I think a porn star recently she did
like one hundred men.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
It was more it was like a thousand.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
It was something. It was she's working up to a thousand,
or she's doing something like that. It's something so crazy.
She's like I'm not that star her.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
She even talks about it's not pleasurable for her, and
I actually it just makes me mad actually because I
get sex should be like ice cream, like.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
The cherry on top.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
There's so much pleasure that we can derive in it,
and it drives me nuts in this country that the
only way that we talk about it is from like
a violence.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Perspective someone's been raped, or someone's.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Been traumatized, or someone's been abused, or an objectification perspective,
and like grabb Her by the pussy perspective, you.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Know, we only are like, oh.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there's like there's the porn star and there's a
girl who got raped. But what about the regular people,
about the maverage, the average Yeah, the average people in
the middle. So I think what's happened now? So, one,
we shouldn't be learning about sexual development or sexual relationships
through porn because it gives people the wrong visual imagery
(06:15):
of what the entire experience is going to be about.
And what it's caused is a lot of sexual dysfunction.
So we we have this term we call p I
N or p I E and porn induced rectile dysfunction.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
So because men have become addicted to porn ess and
she's just too easy to get. And now we have
the d v R forget it, and it's like, what
woman is gonna I mean, there's robots right now, even
sex robots will talk to you, who will who feel
warm and can become lubricated and are never going to
(06:49):
disagree with you or have a difference of opinion or
tell you what she likes. But you know, so I
think it's really really important that we learn about sex
one from an intellectual and anatomical perspective.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
I teach.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
One of the classes I teach is like how to
be an oral achiever, and we actually go over the
anatomy you know, of a male and a female and
look at what it looks like and which parts can
and might be sensitive or you know, can be stimulated
in what parts that aren't traditional erogena zones are things
(07:30):
that we.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Might have thought about but might be.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And so I think though it's much more valuable to
have conversations and to be able to develop this intellectual
connection with a potential partner so you can also evolve
together because often I think a big challenge is also
in long term relationships. What turns you on five years
ago might not be the same thing that turns you
(07:58):
on today.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
And I think we really underestimate the need to evolve.
And if you think about anything with health, it's like
we don't you know, when I was a teenager, they
were like, we gotta step eating all the fat.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
The fat is gonna kill them.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Just started eating cards bread because bread has no fat, right,
And what it did is it made an obese society.
We actually were not obese before they told us that.
And then everyone just started eating non fat stuff, pasta,
all this pasta, all these cards that just turned into sugar,
and that just made us all obese.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Like you know, So as.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We evolve and as we learn more, it's the same
like our workout routine. You know, everyone used to do
aerobic you know, Jane Fonder.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Now we know we have to lift weights right now,
we know that yoga. We also need more flexibility, and
we know we.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Can't smoke a we're press exact.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Isn't it funny though, that we don't think sex evolves,
Like we're just like, oh, I know how to have
sex now, so I'll just be like this, I ate
and I've had sex, So what when you're eighty, you're
going to be just the same.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You're never going to learn and reading.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So I think that porn is not education, but porn
can sometimes be useful for couples as a stimulation. Of course, yes, exactly.
That was very good, very very good as and you
know there's books. I remember once when I first got married,
(09:26):
I had a you know, an erotic book. You know,
you can get a personalized erotic book, so I know
it was with my name, you know, and then read
to them before bed.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
The only erotic book I want to read is yours.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
For real?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
What what do you think is like the most common
myths about sex?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
That we know what we're doing, that wow, we're doing. Yeah,
we know what we're doing. And you know, I always
love that guy like I'm so good, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
God, why that's a lesbian? I cannot tell you the
amount of time and mind you. I came out when
I was really young, against my own will. Really my
dad read my phone, but I was fourteen. You were
like you were twenty two. Uh huh when you came out?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well yeah, I mean like I came out with you.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, my whole life to this day, men will tell
me you're gay. That's because you haven't been with me.
There's no way you believe that, you really believe.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
That you're not a lesbian because you haven't had sex
with me.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh I've heard that too.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You could just be like thinking my delicious posting you're obviously.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Because I know you're like so big.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That is like you really just dismantle and you sold
all my angers for real When.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
They tell me about their big penis, I'm like, how
makes your tongue? And the great thing about the tongue
is you know, we have more muscles in our tongue
than any other part of our body.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And also, don't we stop feeling at some point or
get tired vagina?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Yeah, feeling you can get your cervix.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Well, you can get so excited, you've you've felt that,
you can have so many like climax like you're like
in Mayan space or oh, I.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Mean like if your peen is past a certain size,
isn't it a relevant Well.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
We want to know, yes, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Just interviewed last week the man with the largest medically
verified penis.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
It is fourteen points old.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
The documentary that's sad because nobody wis.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Says him, Yes, nobody wants fourteen point five inches in length,
eight and a half inches in girl.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Guy, poor guy, I'd be afraid of that. No, everyone's afraid.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And he's never going to get that all into somebody experience.
The girl ends up in the hospital. Yeah, and just
a little terrors. He's like, I'm like, poor god, you know,
so he's he said ironically, I asked about his tongue
that ironically have a very small time.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Maybet the dick off put it on the mouth and
then you're good, You got.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Wow, that guy, that's not They can't be easy. There
has to be to find the woman with like the
widest opening vaginas.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh maybe that's his perfect much.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Right, the one who's doing the thousand men. Maybe, oh yeah,
she's gonna be ready to take. But he doesn't want
to get involved in porn or anything like that. And
he doesn't, you know, And he's actually said he can
engage in whole relationships without having intercourse because he's it's
a relationship, you know, he you know, they can go yeah, yeah,
(12:39):
and you know, I wanted to compliment your parents. That's
really because I don't know you very well, but you
seem like such a generous heart and such an authentic person,
and it gives the vibes that you were very accepted
and loved, you know, and I.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Not at first, not at first, but afterwards, yes, yeah, yeah,
And now it's I think every parent, especially for me
at fourteen, this is like before marriage was the gay
marriage was legalized. I think that my parents were afraid
for me, right, And I don't blame them. I've never
been a parent, and I can't imagine what they might
(13:17):
have felt.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
In that moment.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They were just trying to protect me from like the
very scary world, right. And luckily it's that experience has
allowed me to share with others and we've even had
a conversation about it on the podcast where my biggest
advice to a parent who their child might be experimenting
sexually with the same gender or you know, doing things
that they maybe didn't expect their child to do in
(13:39):
terms of relationships, is there's nothing scarier than approaching a
scary world without.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Your parents on your side.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So, yeah, but they had a couple of months to
my parents your.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Point, That's that's why we know that people who actually
are on the LGBTQ spectrum they want and poor people
are kicked out of their homes. So we know the
rates of suicide or like quadruple the rates of substance
abuse or double. So I'm a parent, and you know,
(14:10):
it's so funny. We will jump in front of a
car and die to protect our kid. But they're like,
I'm gay, and what you kick your kid out, kick
your kid on the street and so, and it's and
you're absolutely right. We just we don't want the world
to hurt our kids. And so we were like, we
don't want any other hardships on our kids. We don't
want any So.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And also my parents generation they're still they were, I
mean they still do to this day. But then you
know they would send them to like camps conversion.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I saw that recently that happened to this This kid
posted about loving Lady Gaga and they literally send them
to a conversion companies lady Anyway. Anyway, I wanted to
(15:03):
touch upon something as well, because you talked about how
sexuality and everything changes, it evolves, right, something that we
all went through which I feel like had a big
impact on not only relationships but sex and so many
other things. I can only imagine the impact it had
on your HIV studies COVID.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
I read an article I was actually reading to Jem
recently about how the rates, again the rates that are
reported because how we're really supposed to know when people
are getting it on, but have decreased. The rate that
young people are having sex has significantly decreased. Its correct
me if I'm wrong, And I'm wondering, like why you
think that is? Did people get scared because of COVID?
(15:43):
Is the world just changing? Are the seventies finally over?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I think there's a variety of reasons. One I do
think that the increased used this is the like the
kids who are in college, how they never had life
without the internet.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
I know that's they've never known life without the internet.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Right, So a lot of their first sort of intimate
relationships kind of they may have happened with the person
they were gaming with who lives in a different state
or maybe even a different country. And it's not intimacy
physical intimacy, but the first person who they talk.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
To every day, who they shared.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
What happened at school with them wasn't often a real person,
So it's different when that you know, the person who
you see every day at school and you see them
and then you like them, and then yeah, there's a party,
and then you go over to my house after my
parents don't come home from work whatever time. So I
(16:41):
think that is one and I do think that COVID
did sort of We're not really sure how it influenced
the relational development of that generation, but I do know
some kids who are in college now, and like one
young lady, she's stunning, beautiful model, like she's in a
(17:03):
Victoria's Secret campaign. People like model, does that me have pouse?
No one ever asked me out, No one ever asked
me out. But during that fourteen fifteen sixteen, like when
you're going to proms and when you're learning those.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Things, it's like, oh, they were in their house, they're
in their.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Online school and no one, no one even knows how
to talk to each other, like as you said, in
real life.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Like and then when when.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
They first started coming over, I can remember this person's
parents were like we saw them talking on the couch
without a mask, and they got in trouble because two kids,
they needed to keep their masks on. Even when they
first started relating so I think that the there is
you are correct, this generation, the new adults aren't having
(17:47):
sex at the same rates. We'll see how that plays out.
Hopefully it leads to more educated, less unwanted sexual consequences
this type of her experiences. Hopefully that's what it leads to,
But it also could be a product of I think
(18:08):
younger people know that marriage is not the end all,
be all. Yeah your parents, My parents were like in
their by in college, They're like, I got to get married.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Yeah, I got to get married. That's you know.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I was told by my grandparents the only reason to
go to college is to find your husband.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Also, like for my mom, my mom, because a.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Woman doesn't need an education.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
My grandfather was like, you look good, why are you
going to college?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Like that?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Not only that, like my mom and my mom and
my dad are still together and they're beautiful, and I'm
so blessed to have that as an example. But she
describes her getting married as freedom, like she's like, oh,
me getting married was me freeing myself from my life,
Like that's when my life started. Whereas now I feel
like women or people are more empowered to find themselves
(18:54):
before committing to something like marriage, so that we can
have conversations like the ones you mentioned with your spouse, like, hey,
this year, I kind of like, why don't you try
putting your balls in my ass?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
That my work more substutely right, But there was a
time the only way a woman was allowed to leave
her house was to get married.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I mean, that was it.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
That we weren't even allowed to work. I mean, you
know when women started to work, that's when they made
the birth control bill. They're like, I can work, and
guess what I'm gonna you know, well, let's get this
birth control pill going so we can have sex. And
because now I can make my own money, I don't
have to stay with an abusive guy orgasms, yeah, you know,
just to get out of my dad's house, you know.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Or I can leave the abuse of God losing giving
me orgasms because now.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I'm allowed to work. So it was a way of freedom.
But now, first of all, we all know you don't
have to get married have kids, right, There's a million
different ways to have a child.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
And I do.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Think what what we're learning is, I think it's time
for us to come up with a new structure under
which for which we raise our children. A new family structure.
I think we know, even people who get married, there's
like an over fifty percent divorce rate. Marriage is not
necessarily the right structure to raise our kids. So what
if we were like just friends and we said, hey,
(20:09):
we have similar values, we have similar things. Would you
like to have a child? I mean, we're in this
for them, but where this is what we're going to
do with this child, this is what what our mutual
goals are. And then we don't break up and the
child knows both their parents love them and there's not
all this weird drop offs and holidays at someone's house.
And you know, I've heard I just heard the other day,
(20:31):
you know, from a parent going through a split. Like, no,
they don't even talk a drop off. It's like, here's
the ointment.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Horrible, my parents were divorced.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
It's horrible. Yeah, the kids see all of this.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
No, No, I can.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I can definitely share. I think that what I'm so
grateful to my mom that she didn't smight see my
grandmother felt the need to stay in her marriage. And
my grandfather is an incredible man. Can I speak upon
him as a husband. No, I've never been married to him,
but I have made observations. We're very close, and she
(21:05):
stayed in the marriage for my mom. You know, I
need to stay in the marriage for my kids. And
if there's anything that I have learned just from observing
my own family, is probably the most powerful thing you
could do for your kids to show them I'm not
going to stay in this marriage that I am not
happy in. And that's that's the best thing that I
can teach you about loving yourself. That you don't need
(21:26):
to do that and love period.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Yeah, relationships, marriages fall apart. I think the thing that
sucks is that even though you're not together, the love
should still stay alive so that you're able to love
that person in now this new way, in this new
evolved way where maybe you have a kid or maybe
you know.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right as your child's father, right, and be able to
love them in a way that is eternal and is unconditional,
because romantic love is not unconditional.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
No, no, you do something and be like, no, we
gonna have to break up. It's not.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Especially now, they'll be like too much.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I think his hair was party on the left side today.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
That's yeah, Okay, So these last few.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Years I heard you talk a lot about the fact
that you've been diving into your research. Correct, yes, yes,
and going to your son's basketball games. But I was
a basketball players, so opposition the point guard.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Yes he is, Yeah, I know, and he's very very.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Like you make that assumption, you know what I'm thinking,
I'm a basketball player.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Guard runs the guard runs the floor. They're like a dancer.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
They're also are the shortest person with the biggest ego.
But my senate, but he does play a year or
two up. There always the baby. So the parents like,
he's gonna grow and I'm I'm like, it's okay, I
know because he's two years younger than.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
He's ripping up around anybody. So what have you been
dedicating these last few years your research to have you
found anything out that you wanted to share with us.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So what we're doing right now is I'm actually trying
to transition. I run the largest street based sexual wellness
clinic because what we've learned is that a lot of people,
the people who suffer from most sex problems, don't feel
comfortable interfacing with the healthcare system. It's always a pain
in the butt to go to the doctors of the hospital.
Then you got to wait, and you need ID and insurance.
(23:31):
So our mode of intervention has always been hiring people
from the communities that have the biggest problems. We bring
them into our academic hospital, We train them in HIV
other STIs how they work in your body, and then
we train them how the medications work. Then we teach
them how to navigate the whole healthcare system, and then
(23:52):
we actually just say all right, go and their job
is to walk around the neighborhoods where they're from and
ask and say things like, hey, did you know you
can have sex without a condom and not get HIV?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
And people are like, what what?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And then that's there, that's okay, here's some condoms, here's
some moods. Let me tell you about what's going on,
and and people then they it's their opportunity to educate
them about PREP and about PEP, which you can take
up to seventy two hours after you've been at risk
to prevent HIV infection. And then there's also like m
(24:26):
PREP and PEP now, which are for all the non
HIV STI which are available. So basically people can say,
really healthy sexually, now, I don't even know that, and
so our team of community health workers canvases the streets
of Miami and does this in a way that's like, oh,
right now in your car, Okay, you need to get
high first.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Okay, you go get high. I'll wait here.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Okay, now, okay, understanding the needs, understanding.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Need and oh you want to be at the rec center. Okay,
you might not have a home. And then let's say
I do a rapid HIV test, And the way we
do it is with an oral mucosal kit.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
So it's like a Q tip that.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
We run along your gumps and then we stick it
in a solution and it tells us basically your HIV
status in a couple of minutes. But then if you're so,
if you're positive, you need a confirmatory test, and obviously.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
You need treatment.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So then I'm gonna hold your hand and I'm gonna
actually take you to the clinic, gonna we're gonna do
the confirmatory test. You're gonna leave with thirty days of medication.
While we're waiting for the confirmatory test to come back,
and regardless of the results of whether you are diagnosed
with HIV or whether the confirmatory test had something else,
we know that you're still at risk because of your
(25:42):
lifestyle behaviors, and so then our goal is to get
you either adherent to your HIV medications or hooked up
with like our PREP mobile clinic. Wow, so then we'll
take you to PREP. So then you can still be
out there doing your life with no judgment. We are
a sex positive team. We don't care what you did
last night as long as you were protected and didn't
(26:04):
give someone anything else and it was consensual. Yeah, and
then we get you hooked up with PREPS so that
you never contract HIV and then you actually know about
these really accessible resources in your community that you may
not have known about from before. So we've shown that
that modality is actually so effective. We used to do
(26:25):
research on it, but then it was adopted by the
Department of Health in Florida, So now this is just
a standardized public health service. And that's the whole of
RESEARCHANGE is to say like, hey, this works, and then
work on policy changes to make sure it's a policy.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Is there any way that we can help or listeners
out there can either spread the word or donate or hell,
can we help that?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Well, you can go to CHAMP three oh five on
Instagram and TikTok and all of that. And we also
have now expanded our work also to the US Virgin Islands, Oh.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Wow, which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It's one of the US territories that suffers from a
health as from health professional shortages, so it's a designated
health professional shortage area. So even though it's paradise, they
definitely don't have enough providers to take care of the population.
And one of my first trainees ever is the chief
medical officer there now, so it's a really fun project.
(27:17):
It's like a full circle thing. So I do spend
the summer there now and we do our work there,
and now we're really focused on looking at what natural
because we have a new administration that controls research funding
in the nation. So I've traditionally focused on the populations
that really need help, like minorities and women, but we
(27:38):
don't want to say those words. I'm actually a white
man from Minnesota. I know I don't look like too.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
By the way, I'm only six to two. But how
big is your tongue?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You on mail in the room is like, I know, no, yeah,
ninety six percent of men or five inches or less
wally reck Wow.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
So I know you're part of that.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I know everyone Wow, ninety six percent or five inches
or less, twenty wrecked, I know, and so every man will.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
I am so happy to hear that, and if it's cold.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But we're really looking at yeah, natural modalities. People are
getting postmenopause, I mean post yes, postmenopausal, perimenopausal, menopausal, but
postpartum women.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Who have just had babies is a big thing.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Women who have bad PMS, people with diabetes. I wrote
one of the only papers looking at women with diabetes
and how diabetes affects women's sexual experiences. You know, women
with diabetes have less sexual satisfaction, produce less lubrication, have
more sexual pain. And we've shown things like yoga can
actually reduce sexual pain.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Like women who have pelvic pain.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
It's like twenty nine percent of women have pelvic pain
during sexual intercourse. It's a huge percentage chronic pelvic pain.
But there's natural interventions like yoga, things like that that
you can actually do. There's also the Mona Lisa laser,
which is an at lunch non hormonal procedure, which is
(29:17):
really great for women who have survived breast or ovarian cancer.
And you know what's happening a younger ages now, and
they don't want hormonal treatments. There's the O shot, which
is just like extracting your own blood and extracting the
platelet rich plasma and then checking it back in to
(29:40):
like rejuvenate your volva, vaginal walls, and your cellular production.
So there's a lot of non hormonal, sort of really
naturalesque treatments out there that people don't know about that
are not pushed by our healthcare system. And the reality
is another paper I published recently was what are doctors
(30:02):
learning about sex?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
What are future doctors learning about sex?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
And we talk about all doctors just like ninety eight
percent of doctors feel underprepared to address sexual health concerns.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Pass that's so unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
So we really really have to work on getting this
type of education out there, because you know, if someone
has heart disease, diabetes, press cancer, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer,
survivor HIV, everybody needs to know how do I access
more sensual pleasure? And I think, I mean, I know,
(30:36):
I'm gonna say yoga again, but yoga Yoga's even been
able to people living with HIV it improves their immune heal.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
How many times have people been like, oh, Keegel's keegels,
this that whatever. It's so funny that people have like
such little of course, but it's like such a limited thing.
How can you think that something like that can work?
And then when you engage that part of your body
in a million other ways, like your hips, Like how
many people literally move their hips in a way that's
not walking most day you think, all of a sudden,
(31:02):
you're gonna move your body in a different way. It's
not gonna hurt, Like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Absolutely, when you're doing bridge, Next time you're doing bridge,
like in yoga, you know you're moving your hips and
your pelp up squeeze male female in between, squeeze all
your openings, release, squeeze, and remember your chakras. Your root
chakra is right between your legs, and that's our center
of trust. And so when we don't trust ourselves the
(31:28):
person we're having sex with, we're not gonna have great sex.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Right and then right above our root.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Chakra is our sacral chakra, and that's our lower abdominal area.
That is our center of pleasure. And I think I
tell people we want to work on our abs because
we want to get in touch with our sacral chakra.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
We want to get in touch with our pleasure center.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
It's okay to laugh, tering sex, it's okay to fall
off the bed. Things are silly and messy, you know.
And then we can move up to our solar plexus chakra.
And you know, this is like our So we've all
done something that we didn't want to do, maybe romantically
or sexually, and our gut is in complete disagreement with us.
Our stomach is like no, don't do it, don't say it,
(32:09):
and we're gonna do it, and we do it anyway,
and it's like, get that in line with your divine
you know, sensual expression and learning, and these are some
things that breathing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Breathing, I mean.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And right above your soul, your heart chakra, write, your throat.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Chakra, say what you got to say.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Being able to even like moan or say sounds.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
You know.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So there are these.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Natural ways that people can really enhance. There's sexual pleasure,
there's sexual functioning. Earlier or episode one, you would ask,
what's one thing people can do?
Speaker 4 (32:43):
And I think, just like right now just listening.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
If they just put that on repeat, this little five
minutes that we talked about.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
They'd be like I'm horny.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Or at least want to explore and make them curious
enough to move your body like that, move that kind
of energy through your body. I think it's super important.
It's not talked about enough. And I think that you
should make the next best selling app and cut us
in twenty percent.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Absolutely, now we will.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You will have to cut us in, but we will
help you promote for.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
She's never going to cut us in.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
But and then we need them to fund some research
studies on it.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Yeah, that's the thing. That's one thing I said I want.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yes, can you do something good?
Speaker 4 (33:22):
God, damn it, do something good?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yes, an electric you know, charge solar chargeable vibrator.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Vibration that works in space.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Just does this exist that Let's say like you have
a long distance relationship and like I have, like the
remote to a vibrator does exist?
Speaker 4 (33:45):
It does like a yeah, so I do yees?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So there is So it's Valentine's Day. Yes, so great gift.
I actually love that one. There is that once she
would put it in her So I this is how
I suggest you do. Okay, So if you go out
to dinner with your partner, you give them a little
box and you're like, here, honey, I got you a gift,
and you're open and you're like, okay, now go to
the bathroom, and then they put it into their panties. Basically,
(34:09):
it's a little vibrator that goes into their panties, but
you have the remote to it.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
So they come back to the table and you start
pressing it and they're like, and.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Who's going to bail us out of jail?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
We have.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
The waitress, you know, the server comes to your table giggling,
and so that definitely exists.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
Wow there with you.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And there's also some long distance apps that you can
use on your phone, so like if your partners in
a different city or a state geographically, you can mail them.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Something that you could control with your phone.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Your long distance relationships. Yes, that's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
They thought of everything. And of course, well, yeah, you're
right right, you're so here we are with doctor Kinsey
in the sixties.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
I'm not over I'm not over that. Oh my god
already because to now you're going to be hearing a
lot more poorn documentaries. I need to go back to
the drawing.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I have a lot to learn, So obviously I I
think I know how you're going to respond to this,
but just I would love to touch upon it. Sexual
(35:31):
aids like a vibrator. Okay, so which ones or any
I guess any except likes to please yourself, adults or
your partners the term adults.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, adult toys, Yeah, whatever you want to you know, pleasure.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
Whatever, any weapons of mass pleasure.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Remember that vibrators cannot replace a partner, and a partner
cannot replace a vibrator, so they're not so put them
together and you There are couples vibrators too that you
can use. Most of them are for heterosexual couples because it's.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Going to be an insertive. Yeah, that's it experience.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
But I think that they're great, and I think that
it's really important for women to achieve optimal pleasure, to
learn how to please themselves. So if you are a
woman and you do not own a toy to please yourself,
spend twenty five dollars right now and go on to
(36:33):
a website. I don't want to promote anyone in particular,
and get yourself wanted. If that's not the right one,
then you'll spend twenty five dollars trying something else. There
are like clit suckers.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Yeah, we talk about it amongst our friends. We share
recommendation and.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Fifty dollars on a good one because there are a
lot that are made by physicians now engineers, and there's
also there's there's super you know, there's lower cost ones
and the higher end ones. You don't necessarily need the
highest and one you want to try to make sure
it's safe, meaning non toxic dyes and all of that,
(37:15):
all of it. And also you want to make sure
always that if you are sex toys are not meant
to be changed with partner, not meant to be used.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
With multiple partners.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
But if you are, you want to make sure you're
washing it with soap and water. And you can also
use condoms with your toys, and we want to use
different types of lubricant. You want to try to use
a water based lubricant, and the reason why we don't
want to use silicone lubricants, which are really great, but
they can deteriorate condoms or so you want to use
(37:50):
a water based lubricant with your toys and with condoms
because silicone can also mess with your toys. But I
do think it's really great for women to learn how
to please themselves, especially before you go on a date,
because then you're giving yourself that mojo. You can do
hormones a secret sauce, and you go on that date
(38:11):
and you've already you know, had an orgasm and you're thinking,
my juicy delicious.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I call it sugar box, like my sugar bars, because
I think that's something that I like. It's like a
nice you know, my grandmother.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
An Outlander that the JB.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But definitely, and there's male sex toys too, which are
really important, like that they can insert their penis into
and that's.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
A flesh warm and all of that.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
If anyone out there is pregnant, breastfeeding and sexual desire
or mortal enemies, they do.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Not go together. So if you're planning.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Your breastfeeds your child, then you want to make sure
if you have a male partner, that they are prepared.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
To have less sex during the time. That's so important.
Nobody everyone tells you.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So basically, the same hormones that allow you or empower
you to be able to feed your baby are the
hormones that regulate sexual desire.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
Wow, so you got it. You got to pick one.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's like Yes, there's always going to be the zebra
without stripes. There's the one woman who wants to breastfeed
and have sex with the exact same time. Yeah, I
mean like I've never met her, but you're looking to
meet a lot of really interesting It is really important
when you're thinking about breastfeeding your child, which I highly recommend.
I did it for a year. My kid has never
(39:39):
had one sick date. It is low and I'm like, wow,
was that really it?
Speaker 3 (39:44):
You've got a badass mom, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
But it's important for us to know that going in
so that we're prepared for also that happy and you're
not feeling all stressed out, like I'm not giving, like
I'm not pleasing my husband and he's not thinking why
aren't you sleeping with me?
Speaker 3 (39:59):
It's going to be my life now because we just
had a baby.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Right that. Everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Information really can be power, And unfortunately no doctor ever
tells you this.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
When I was pregnant, actually every.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Time I went for an EXAMBI would be like, will
you please hold office hours here?
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Will you please hold.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Off up about what's going on? And also when you're pregnant,
you're super horny. It's like the opposite. Yeah, you're like,
oh my god, I need to get pregnant again. While
I'm pregnant.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Can you put another woman this pace for two?
Speaker 2 (40:30):
That's so incredible.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I'd never heard that, Just like recently I found out
the internet can be so so scary but so good
for certain things. That it really is up to the
health of a man, what kind of pregnancy a woman
is going to have, And I'm like.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
What not fair?
Speaker 5 (40:45):
Yeah, not fair.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
There's a lot of things that are unfair. If they
had to bleed, and they had to go through menopause,
they had to go all the thing. I would love
to see guys pean bleed once a month, that's it.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
They want to do it.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They'd have a week off every month, a week off
reason oh.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
My I can't come in.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Every man gets seven days off a month.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
And it doesn't have to be any the regular seven days.
It could be any seven days that because he's a
regular this month, because I'm stressed out us we're regular.
You have no idea. The fight I had to do
to get the medical school to put female hygiene female
mentual products in the bathrooms, I mean it was like
a six year fight, and they were like, well, can't
they monitor? And I'm like, oh, I ever seen a
(41:25):
woman's mentor cycle under excuse me?
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Are you guys doctors?
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah, we all know what a female's mentoral cycle when
she's stressed out. And nobody's more stressed out than a
female medical student. And so it was a fight, but
they're there now.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
So I'm very they really they named you appropriately if
you really are a star in your galaxy for real
and on.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
This spaceship for sure. And before we deorbit the spaceship,
I have one more question for you, but also would
be I have a question for you, or you have
my own question. Okay, you can do a question first,
but I just want to say this. You know, there's
another another person that I haven't met that I want
to exist, which is the sex person at NASA. Because
you're gonna hear in Space News, I was curious if
anybody's ever had sex in space, and I saw that
(42:11):
people were saying, oh, it's supposed to. They were worried
about how fluids run in your body, and they were
saying they could actually kill your libido. But a ton
of the males that have been in space, says that
it's the opposite and there's like space viagra and they
wake up with like these rock hard boners that are painful.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Wow, So we need to meet we haven't even really
touched that.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Actually do what I think we should do. I think
this is consistent with the new administration. Elon, we will
go to space and do this study.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Study.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
Very funny, don't you can come literally and come whenever?
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Sorry, this is what happens.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
See, we start.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Talking to her and now I'm gonna go out and
sugar box energy with everybody.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
And it's the perfect segue to my final question. Yes,
I know that there are listeners out there who have
now heard both parts of this episode, and I hope
they feel empowered and comfortable. They've laughed and they've giggled,
and they've become curious and maybe they want to go
home and they want to open the conversation. They want
to spice up their life, their sex life. What's one
(43:22):
tip that you could give them?
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Ice cubes?
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Ah, everyone's got them at home. Crush them first, so
they don't bring big old ice cubes to your bedroom.
Crush them, put them in a bowl, little temperature play. Wow,
that's it Tonight so everyone. And I know today is
Valentine's Day. I know every day in the space is
Valentine's Day and the galaxy. But I always recommend to
people who didn't plan anything for Valentine's Day, like you
(43:47):
could actually pretend like you had a whole plan. Yeah,
go get altoids ISAAA, champagne, altoids and ice. You're done
because you put a don't put the whole altoid cut
the alid.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Do not know, but no.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I once told it to a patient and it was created.
She's fourteen out towards that poor Maria burning.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
Shadow O.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I know, quarter of a quarter and it works male female,
all of that, it doesn't matter. But a little alty
can get a little extra stimulation when you're performing, or
good breath, you.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Know, oral pleasure and good breath.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Also, like if you take some champagne and you don't
swallow it, but you do your partner while the champagne
is still in your mouth kind of spill it all
over them.
Speaker 4 (44:35):
Everything gets a little bubbly. It's a little bit of like.
But the best thing I think about ice is.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Everybody's got it at home. It's totally easy. You can
put a crushed thing. But your partner may not even
notice the cup or the bowl there.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
You know, you put a little bit of fries.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yes, in your you know, in the side of your mouth,
you hide it in your cheek. You go down a
little temperture and it doesn't have to be you know,
you're performing oral pleasure sex on them. You can do
it on their inner thigh, do it on their outer thigh,
do it on the back of their knee. You know,
what about the inside of the elbow, what about on
their rib cage? What about where they're you know, where
(45:12):
the bottom of their butt meets the top of their thigh,
you know, in the back, that little crease between their
butt and their thigh, a little ice cube, and then
put it back in.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Then some hot breath, oh cold? How super easy? Free?
Speaker 2 (45:29):
All right?
Speaker 4 (45:30):
God?
Speaker 3 (45:31):
My tip?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Okay, babe, what's your tip?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Okay, cheer me out? Mentos and coke?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
No is a Coca Cola?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yeah, you just squat over a coke bottom put them Yeah,
thank god.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I think it's about time for that funny little segment.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah, because doctor k is gonna run out of me.
Speaker 5 (46:02):
It was a giant shaped hole in that wall.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
All right.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Well, now we have to hear about what's actually going
on one hundred percent true. She knows now it's all
the truth. You already heard her one so now he's
going to believe me. All right, except for everybody's one
of the specialist sexy space news from all right. It
was a miracle, quote amazing tales of a dead spacecraft
(46:28):
that came back to life. This hunk of metal moved
silently through space, high above blue Earth. Power no longer
coursed through its wires. It was dead to the outside world.
But then a key astronaut in the mission remembered, all
you have to do is take out the cartridge, blow
on it, pop it back in, and boom the ship
turned right on. Oh wow, see, our young crowd's not
(46:49):
gonna get that.
Speaker 4 (46:53):
Quick.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Give me some ice cubes, okay. Scientists once questioned whether
erections would be possible in space because letting fluids shift
and redistribute through the body without gravity, well, that was
a lie. During his first morning on the Space Shuttle Discovery,
astronaut Mike Mullane woke up with a massive space boner,
claiming in his book, I had an erection so intense
(47:14):
it was painful. I could have drilled through kryptonite. Yep,
that's an image. Also in his book, he detailed a
malfunction where a random penis size hole opened in the
ship's aft, causing a near catastrophic emergency. Rand She's hip
to it now.
Speaker 5 (47:33):
Space.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh my god, I think I could talk to you
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
Literally.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
We can't thank you enough. Doc. We've been excited about
this for a long time and you've been the perfect
person to come school us for sure and make people
change their underwear out there, because that's probably having it.
Please tell people where to follow along, where to follow
you on socials, your book, your yoga, You're all incredible.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Aromatherapy oil es are destined to make you feel nice.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, now that you've taught people how to plug themselves in,
plug them.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
In to you.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
Yeah, thank you. I was for your daily dose of
nookie knowledge.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Check me out on all of the social media networks
where I'm d R s O, n Jia Doctors, Sunjaya
on Instagram, TikTok LinkedIn. My podcast is Sex and South Beach.
My book is Sex and South Beach. It's on Amazon,
and you should definitely check out my body oil it's
(48:41):
called sense Aromatherapy body oil. It's made from the es
central oils that are scientifically proven to ignite the greatest
sense of pleasure. It's a really great moisturizer, and it
also is an organic way to repel mosquitoes because being
eaten feel good.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Yes, we have nothing else to say after that. Follow
us on in our World pod. You are welcome and
happy Valentine's Day, even though it's after but we're celebrating.
Celebrate with us again. Thank you, get it on with someone.
Speaker 4 (49:15):
Thank you, doctor K.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
Thank you doctor K.
Speaker 4 (49:17):
See you're next week on in.
Speaker 5 (49:18):
Our own World.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Launch.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
This podcast is brought to you by Moonflower Productions in
partnership with Iheartsmichael.
Speaker 4 (49:29):
That podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
For more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Hosts And Creators
Gemeny Hernandez
Emily Estefan
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.